Second Redemption
by alligatorjedi
Summary: The First Order has been defeated. Kylo Ren is imprisoned and will soon be put on trial for his crimes. However, after an attack on a Resistance base, Ren and Rey find themselves on a mission to uncover who was behind the attack. During their journey, Ren begins his path to redemption and Rey learns about her real family. Reylo will be developed throughout the story.
1. Chapter 1

Kylo Ren wished he could change everything. Not until months after the destruction of the First Order and the death of Snoke was he able to realize how intensely the dark side of the Force had infected him. It had promised him power. It allowed him to feel anger. It called to him, seduced him, and stole everything from him. But in prison, the promises of the darkness were no longer his companion. All he had were the memories of his sins. From the moment he woke to the moment he slept, his mind played them over and over and over again. They were suffocating him.

When he was Snoke's apprentice, he had justified the destruction, the murders, the manipulation, and even killing his own father. He had felt nothing. But now all he could feel was his victims' fear. All he could see were their faces change as life left their bodies.  
He had ruined families.

Even his own.

Entire planets and cultures were gone.

Because of him.

"You have a visitor." Ren heard the voice of the Resistance guard and was rescued from the plague of his thoughts. He sat up straighter against the concrete wall, looking towards what he believed was the doorway. He couldn't tell in the dark.

A light turned on. Ren covered his eyes and held back any sound that would indicate he was in pain.

When his eyes adjusted, he saw the girl named Rey standing in the doorway.

"Please leave us," she asked the guard. The guard hesitated before leaving, unsure of whether he should leave her alone with the monster. However, he knew better than to disobey a Jedi. Within the concrete walls, bars were placed between the doorway and the prisoner to add an extra layer of security. Rey inched towards the bars of the cell, ignoring the disgust that rose up inside of her from seeing him again. Ren avoided looking at her as she moved toward him.

A few moments passed. Rey knelt down near the bars, refusing to take the position of an aggressor. She would not allow herself to practice hate.

Ren looked at her briefly before looking away. She did not press him to speak. He considered about how much better she was than he. If the First Order had succeeded, and if she had been the prisoner, he would have taken her thoughts without her consent, would have forced her to reveal her feelings. He realized that he could read her mind now, if he wanted. But the thought of doing so now disgusted him.

"Your mother…she misses you." Ren finally made eye contact with her. He had expected her to say something about his fate, about whether or not they had decided to execute him. Rey grabbed one of the bars, trying to bridge the gap between them and to encourage him to speak. She noticed the scar on his face, the one she had given him four years ago when they had first battled on Starkiller Base.

"General Organa wants to meet with you," she said.

"I have no interest in seeing her."

"I will tell her your response," Rey replied. A few moments passed. She wanted him to change his mind. He said nothing. Feeling disappointed from the failed attempt, Rey stood up and went to leave. But the thought of causing Leia more pain wounded Rey. She couldn't be civil to this creature anymore. She turned sharply, strode to the cell, and yelled at him.

"All these years all you've done is hurt people. Your mother _loves_ you. Your father loved you, too. You're nothing but a—but a coward!" She turned away from him, hoping he wouldn't see the tears welling in her eyes. She berated herself for showing so much emotion. However, something about Rey's plea struck Kylo; he felt guilt rise up within him once again. Ben. She had called him Ben.

"And how do you suggest I face my mother? A countless number of years have passed since we last spoke. The last I have known of her is the disturbance I felt in the Force when I..." Kylo let his voice trail off. He had already told her too much. He couldn't finish his sentence. Rey had been there. She knew what he had done. He stood up and moved to the bars. Rey sensed his movement and turned around to look at him. She flinched at his proximity.

"You will be brought to trial for what you have done. You will likely be sentenced to death. If you are _lucky_ , you will be exiled. Please—speak to her," Rey begged. "It may be your only chance."

He studied Rey's eyes. They were burning with pain. He thought of what he had seen when he looked into her mind four years ago. The loneliness. The feeling of abandonment. The foolish hope. When they had first met, she had been suffering. Now, it was he who suffered.

"I will speak with her," he decided, his deep voice echoing off the walls. He looked away from Rey and returned to his slumped position on the wall. She stared at him in disbelief.

"Someone will be here to retrieve you," she said. Without saying goodbye, she rushed out of the room.

In a few moments, the light turned off and Kylo Ren was once more in darkness.

He felt the eyes judging him and the malicious words directed at him as he walked through the Resistance base on Yavin 4. During the war, it had been a small base, utilized only because of the remaining buildings and hangars from the Rebellion. After the final battle against the First Order, it was one of the only bases that remained. Ren looked down at his feet, trying to ignore the chatter. He never thought he would miss the silence of solitary confinement.

The guards escorting him stopped when they reached Leia's quarters.

"General Organa, we have Kylo Ren." She opened the door and looked immediately at her son. However, her expression did not change. They pushed Ren into the doorway.

"Thank you. You are dismissed."

"Excuse me, General, but are you certain you don't want us to be here? In case something happens?" Expressing their concern was not exactly permitted, especially to a superior officer, but Leia appreciated their worry.

"I can handle it," Leia assured. She shut the door with a press of a button. Without saying anything, she took the restraints off of Ren's wrists. He stood there, frozen. Emotions that he hadn't allowed himself to feel for decades bombarded him. He didn't know how to process his feelings. His memory of her had been of a woman much younger. There had been no wrinkles or grey hair when he had left to train with Luke. He knew his parents had aged; his father certainly looked much older. But seeing the change in his mother's physical appearance only served as a reminder of how much time had gone by since he had been Ben Solo, and how long it had been since he felt his mother's arms embracing him as they said goodbye.

"I've missed you so much," she said, struggling to speak. She reached up to touch his face. With slight hesitation, Ren covered her hand with his. It was the first time someone had touched since he killed his father. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Ren tried to recall a memory of his seeing his mother cry, but he did not have one.

"Mother, I—"

"Don't say anything Ben. I know. Everything." She withdrew her hand from his face and wiped her tears. "I don't know what they've decided, as far as your fate goes. But I wanted to ask for your forgiveness. We—your father and I—were so detached and cold. We should have raised you in love and hope. I should have held on to you." Ren looked at her, and allowed himself to feel her suffering. Coupled with his own, it was overwhelming.

He didn't know what to say. He couldn't quite forgive her. Not yet.

"I—" His words were cut off by a knock on the door. Leia moved to let Rey in.

"General Organa, I'm sorry to say that you are needed immediately at the command center. I've been ordered to take Ren back to the prison." Rey's words were edged with anxiety. She moved her eyes back and forth from mother to son. Leia looked at Ren.

"There is still light in you. I know it." She spoke quietly, and looked into his eyes one final time before exiting her quarters. Rey grabbed the restraints and placed them on Ren's wrists. Grabbing his arm, she dragged him out of Leia's quarters and hurried him back to prison. Her tight grip bothered him.

The crowds that had lined up to see him had disappeared. The humans and humanoids and aliens that had been mocking him had been replaced by an eerie silence.

"What's happening?" Kylo asked. He sensed a disturbance.

"Nothing that concerns you," Rey answered. She sounded confident, but she was concerned. A few minutes before she had retrieved Leia, there had been talk about unknown ships in the atmosphere. Although it was likely nothing of concern, they had to be cautious—

Suddenly, the ground and ceiling shook. Pieces of the old structure started detaching from the ceiling. Dirt and bits of concrete fell down on top of them. The alarm started to sound. Panic rose within her.

"We have to evacuate," she stated. She turned to Ren. "You have to come with me, you understand?" Ren nodded. There weren't any other options besides taking himself back to prison, which he certainly did not want to do. She took off his restraints, knowing the kind of risk she was taking. "Hurry!"

They sprinted to the hangar. X-Wings and Y-Wings were taking off, planning to meet the enemy in the air. However, it was too late to stop a ground invasion. The base was being swarmed by troops that wore identical helmets and armor to Stormtroopers, but neither Rey nor Ren recognized them as belonging to the First Order or the Empire. They were new.

Rey ignited her green, double-bladed lightsaber.

"Get to the _Millennium Falcon_ ," she instructed him. He didn't move at first. "Go!"

He ran to the _Falcon_ , dodging blaster fire and trying to remain out of battle.

A member of the Resistance, however, saw the prisoner and decided to hunt him down.

Ren was lowering the door to the _Falcon_ when he felt a blaster against his temple.

"I'm not a coward, not like the rest of them. I'm not afraid to put a bolt through your head…" The voice was unsteady, but full of rage. Suddenly the pressure was gone. Ren turned around just in time to see the Resistance troop be Force pushed away from him. The troop hit the wall with a loud thud.

"Get inside!" Rey yelled. She pushed Ren up the ramp, and she hurried to the cockpit. Chewie was already preparing everything for takeoff.

"Uhhh!" Chewie exclaimed, pointing at Ren, who was standing behind Rey.

"We have no option. He's a prisoner and he deserves a fair trial." Rey sat in the pilot's seat. Ren was aware that her obligation to him was out of her respect for his mother, and it had little to do with her concern of whether or not he had a fair trial.

Within moments, the _Millennium Falcon_ was in flight.

Chewie grumbled once again.

"I don't care where we go. Just pick a place!" she sassed, running to control the gun.

Rey looked for the enemy, hoping to take a few ships out on their way off of Yavin 4. She expected to find TIE fighters, but these ships were definitely _not_ TIE fighters. She knew all sorts of ships, but she didn't know these. She had never seen anything like them before. She fired at them anyway. Unfortunately she didn't manage to deal any considerable damage.

Once they were out of the atmosphere, Rey ran back to the cockpit. Ren had settled into the seat behind hers, a look of confusion on his face. Rey concluded that he didn't know about the attack or the enemy, which confirmed what she had suspected. It was not an attack by what remained of the First Order.

Without a word, they jumped to lightspeed. _

 **Thank you so much for reading the first chapter! Please review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Tell me everything you know." Rey turned around in her chair and began to interrogate Kylo Ren.

"You immediately assume I am behind the attack? I know as much as you do," he snapped. "And I am sure you are well aware that I have been in prison and have had absolutely _no_ communication with anyone." Ren regretted the words as soon as he spoke them. Rey shook her head in frustration. She held in a wave of bitter responses. She began to wonder why she saved his life. She even wondered why she had bothered to spare him all those months ago.

Training had made her more powerful than Ren. She could have easily killed him during their last lightsaber battle. He had been weak. But for some reason, she couldn't do it. It wasn't just because she knew it wasn't the Jedi way to kill unless necessary; no, there was something else. Something about him that made it impossible for her to end his life. Something that made her protect him, even now. Her thoughts were interrupted.

"Chewbacca! I say, Chewbacca what is this commotion…" from the crew quarters of the _Millennium Falcon_ , a voice that could only belong to C-3PO sounded. The protocol droid waddled to the cockpit.

"Ah! Miss Rey! What a pleasant surprise! And…" his voice trailed off when he saw Ben Solo sitting behind the pilot. If a droid could express emotion physically, C-3PO's eyes would have grown wide.

"Where did you set our course?" Rey asked Chewbacca, ignoring C-3PO. She forgot that the droid had been helping Chewbacca make upgrades to the _Falcon._

" _Urhururur_ ," Chewie replied.

"Right, of course."

"I'm assuming that is where another Resistance base is located?" Ren interjected. "If so, I would recommend you set your course elsewhere."

Chewbacca rushed out of the co-pilot's seat. He wrapped his hands around Ren's neck. Ren struggled to breathe.

"Oh!" C3PO exclaimed, watching the spectacle.

"Chewie!" Rey leapt up and tried pulling the Wookie's arms off of Ren. The sight would have been comic to Ren, due to the height difference between Rey and Chewie, if he hadn't been the one being strangled. "Chewie, _let him go!_ "

The hold loosened, but Chewie didn't remove his hands. Ren decided to speak.

"If someone knew about the base on Yavin 4, then they likely know about the other bases. You can't go there."

Chewbacca tried to protest Ren's logic.

"Chewie, he's right," Rey admitted. "We have to change course. We'll get him to another Resistance base as soon as it's safe. I promise." Chewie nodded slowly, still staring at Ren. Finally, he removed his hands and stormed back to his chair.

Ren wondered why Rey cared so much about keeping him alive. It was probably because of her companionship with his mother. He wondered if Leia survived the attack on Yavin 4. He had felt no disturbance in the Force, nothing that would indicate her death. Still, it worried him.

Worry. Concern. Though Snoke was dead, Ren still heard his instruction. Emotions of compassion were an obstacle to power. But Snoke did not control him anymore. The call to the light was beginning to intensify within him. The realization unsettled him.

Rey tried to think of a logical place to set their course, but the tension in the cockpit angered her. She wished Luke hadn't gone on a mission; she knew that if he was here, he would know exactly what to do. There was still too much she didn't know. Rey was on her own, and she was scared. Being responsible for Ren didn't make anything easier. He was unpredictable.

She should have left him to die.

"Excuse me! Excuse me, Miss Rey, but we're receiving communications from Luke Skywalker!" C3PO called. Rey attention was brought back to the present. She turned on the holoprojector. Within moments, Luke's figure appeared above the controls of the _Millennium Falcon_.

"Rey! I see you made it out of the attack on…"

"Yavin 4. We've just escaped it," Rey said.

"There's something I need you to do for me."

"Anything," Rey said, her eager spirit reflecting her devotion.

"I need you to go to the old Jedi Temple on Coruscant. Hidden in the archives is a record I need you to retrieve. It's labeled PZK99. Contact me once you have found it."

"What's in the record?" Rey asked, leaning forward in curiosity.

"I couldn't tell you," Luke said. He looked behind his shoulder. "Listen, Rey. You need to find a new ship and leave as soon as possible. Don't reveal your identity to anyone. I…have to go. Hurry." The hologram disappeared. A brief silence settled in again as Rey tried to process her master's instructions.

"He's in danger," Rey stated, her face scrunched in worry.

"I sense it too," Ren added. Rey turned around and looked at him. She said nothing, but Ren felt her subtly reaching out to him with the Force. She was trying to search his feelings, trying to determine whether or not he was lying about the attacks or if he knew anything about the danger Luke was in. Ren hoped she would judge him innocent. She turned back around in her chair.

"Chewie, I'm setting course for Takodana. We'll get a new ship and…" her voice trailed as she thought. "And we'll decide what to do with Kylo Ren when we arrive."

If there was anyone in the galaxy Rey knew she could trust other than Luke for advice, it was Maz Kanata.

 **Thank you for reading chapter two! Also, a special thanks to those who have reviewed/followed my story! If you have any feedback or comments I would love to hear them.**


	3. Chapter 3

After four years, the rubble from Maz Kanata's palace had been cleared away, and a new structure had been built. Even though the new palace had been constructed out of similar materials, it was noticeably more modern and less impressive. But Takodana was still a bustling hub for smugglers and travelers, and more importantly, there were still many ships outside the palace.

Rey's breath was taken away by the beauty of the planet, even though she'd been to many places just as beautiful since she left Jakku. She remembered the feeling of wonderment she had had when she first visited Takodana. The memory filled her with happiness.

Then she remembered what had _also_ happened the last time she was here. She immediately felt sick.

Ren, thinking of the same moment, didn't feel much better.

Rey landed the _Millennium Falcon_ in a clearing near the lake. As soon as the _Falcon_ had been properly parked, Rey and Chewbacca moved to leave.

"Threepio, I need you to stay here," she commanded.

"With him?" C-3PO asked, terrified at such a prospect.

"No," Rey turned to look at Ren, "he's coming with us. We're going to find someone to watch him." She wasn't confident in her decision to take him with her. But she couldn't leave him in the _Falcon_ with nothing but a protocol droid to stop him from escape.

Rey's words angered Ren. Someone needed to _watch_ him? She talked about him like he was a child. Why was he always being controlled? Han, Leia, Luke, Snoke…now it was Rey who was trying to control him.

He stood up, towering over Rey. She looked up at him.

"If you try to run I'll—"

"I'm not a fool, girl," he snapped. He was aware that if he was caught after attempting to escape, he would be sentenced to death, no questions asked.

Chewbacca growled a threat.

"He's right. We'll have everyone in the galaxy looking for you," she stated.

"I'm _not going to run,_ " Ren stated firmly, his sinister voice echoing through the _Falcon._ Rey looked away from him, her jaw clenched in frustration. She knew he wasn't lying; she sensed the truth in his words. It was her mind, however, she needed to convince.

"Fine. Let's go find Maz."

"After you," Ren said.

Rey wished she brought the restraints.

Trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible, the trio walked to the structure. Maz sensed them as soon as they walked into the palace.

"There she is! The girl who saved the galaxy!" Maz shouted over the crowd. It was futile to try to remain hidden. The eyes of every human and alien turned to look upon them. The room erupted in cheers. Rey blushed and smiled. Ren, however, was embarrassed at the sudden attention and wanted to hide. He wished he had his mask. Thankfully, as soon as the orange alien shuffled to the entrance of her castle, everyone went back to gambling and drinking. Maz's goggled eyes shifted from Rey to Ren, but she didn't look shocked to see Ren standing there.

"Maz, we need your help," Rey said.

"It seems like no one visits unless they need something," Maz complained.

"We need a new ship. Temporarily."

"And there's my boyfriend!" Maz said, ignoring Rey and looking up at Chewbacca. Chewie became very uncomfortable. Usually confident, the Wookiee became thoroughly embarrassed.

"Maz, it's urgent," Rey pressed. "Luke's in trouble." Maz sighed in frustration. She had sensed something wasn't right.

"Go talk to the Twi'lek sitting by the window. He'll get you a ship."

"And I need to leave _him_ here," Rey said, gesturing to Ren. Ren looked down at Maz, his face devoid of emotion.

"Leave Solo with me, for now," Maz said, waving her hand. "Come back once you have your ship."

"Thank you."

"No need," Maz replied. Rey and Chewie went to the table to negotiate with the humanoid. Maz turned and gestured for Ren to follow her.

"I suppose there's a good reason why you're here, and not in prison?" Maz questioned Ren as they wove through the crowd. She didn't look back once to make sure he was following her.

"The Resistance base was attacked, and I escaped with the girl. I had been let out of my cell temporarily," Ren replied. Ren and Maz sat down at a small table in the back corner. Ren felt the need to tell her everything. He told her about the attack. He told her what Luke had said. He told her Rey's intentions to leave him on Takodana while she went to Coruscant. The entire time Maz nodded, listening intently. After he had finished briefing her, Maz was silent for a few moments. She studied his eyes, looking back and forth at each one intently. Finally, she spoke.

"I know, Ben. I know what happened on Felucia."

"Yes. The First Order was defeated," he said. "It was our last battle. Snoke was hiding there, and the girl defeated him."

"Everyone knows that," Maz said. "But I know what _you_ did on Felucia." She pointed her wrinkled finger at him. Ren felt the air get knocked out of his lungs. How could she know? He'd known since he was a child that Maz was a Force-sensitive, but he didn't know she was _that_ powerful.

"It doesn't change anything," Ren stated abruptly, refusing to look in Maz's eyes. "It doesn't matter now."

"You're like your father. And your mother. Stubborn." Maz shook her head.

"I've fought my entire life to be different than them," Ren said, annoyed. "Everyone believes they're heroes. But a hero doesn't abandon his son."

"Han wasn't ready to be a father. He was afraid. So he ran and pretended he didn't care. That isn't your fault." Maz watched as Ren's eyes filled with tears of frustration. He tried to will them away.

"He didn't want me. He wanted a child like the girl. I disappointed him. I've disappointed everyone. I've failed the First Order, my family, Snoke—"

"But you haven't failed Rey," Maz interrupted. Ren became silent.

"So you really _do_ know."

"I know many things. I know that the new threat to the Resistance is older than the First Order. I know that you have been given a second chance—that you feel the call to the light. The question is, will you follow it?" Frustration bombarded Ren. The fact that Maz knew so much made him uncomfortable. Before he could reply, Rey and Chewbacca returned.

"We've got a ship," Rey said. "Everything on the _Millennium Falcon_ has been moved, including Threepio. We'll be leaving shortly for Coruscant."

"You're taking Ben with you," Maz commanded. Shock flooded Rey's face. Rey shook her head. Maz continued. "You can't leave him here. There's no place to imprison him. And the only person in the galaxy that can match him in power is _you_."

"I can handle it myself," Rey protested.

"You may be trained, and you may be a Jedi, but there is still much you don't understand. And from what I've heard, you have no idea what you might be facing. Both of you are strong in the Force, but you're stronger together." Maz looked back and forth between Ren and Rey. "This threat—I don't know much about it, but I know it has been growing in the shadows for decades. It's stronger than either of you."

"But what if he—"

"He won't," Maz assured. Maz knew Rey didn't trust Ren. Not yet. But she knew Rey sensed that Ren had changed. She couldn't deny it.

"Rey!" A voice that could only belong to Finn sounded from the palace entrance. Rey turned to see Finn and Poe, both dressed in Resistance pilot outfits, standing in the doorway. She immediately ran through the crowd and made her way towards them. She threw her arms around her best friend.

"We tracked the _Falcon_ here," Poe stated. Rey pulled away from Finn's hug. BB-8, who had taken a good deal of time getting up the steps of the palace, finally caught up to Finn and Poe. He planted himself at Poe's side and beeped his greeting to Rey.

"What happened?" Rey asked.

"After the base was attacked, Poe and I got into our X-wing and we started firing at enemy ships. But we were outnumbered. We had to retreat," Finn informed.

"And so you came to Takodana," Rey said.

"We followed you because we didn't know where else to go," Poe said. "And we've heard nothing from General Organa. We thought she might be with you." Fear flooded Rey. She hadn't thought about whether or not Leia had survived the attack. She hoped she was safe.

"So you know nothing about who attacked?" She asked, anxious to learn more.

"Not yet. We're told a Resistance scout followed one of the enemy ships, but we haven't received any information," Finn said.

BB-8 started moving in circles and beeping furiously. While the friends were reuniting, he had been taking in the surrounding environment.

"What is it?" Poe asked, kneeling down to listen to his droid. Poe looked up at Rey, his brow furrowed in disbelief. "He says Kylo Ren is here."

"He is here," Rey replied. Both Poe and Finn's eyes grew wide. "He's with me."

"What do you mean he's _with_ you?!" Finn asked in disbelief.

"He left Yavin 4 with me. Maz seems to think he's going to help me." She told them about her mission to Coruscant. Finn shook his head.

"Maz is great and all but do you _really_ think you should follow her advice? I mean, it's _Kylo Ren_!" Finn looked over Rey and stared at Ren, who was conversing with Maz.

"I have no choice," Rey said. "Maz is strong in the Force, so I must trust her judgement." She didn't let Finn and Poe know that the idea of looking after Ren terrified her. Not because she was afraid of him, but because she was afraid of the anger that she felt towards him. "Just let me know when you find out where the Resistance is regrouping so I can get rid of him as soon as possible."

"I wish we could go with you, but we can't do anything else until we've contacted General Organa. Just promise us you'll be careful, okay?" Poe said.

"I will," Rey assured.

" _Rrrrrr!_ " Chewie called. Rey turned to her friends.

"I have to go. Could you look after the _Falcon_ for me? It'll only be for a little while, I promise."

"Are you kidding me?" Poe enthused. "I'd do anything to watch the ship that made the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs!" Rey and Finn laughed at their friend's excitement. When Kylo Ren, Maz, and Chewie walked over, the smile dropped from Finn's face. Ren glared at Finn. It was the first time the two had seen each other since Ren had injured Finn on Starkiller Base.

"Rey," Finn whispered, looking back at Rey. "Please be careful."

"I'll be fine," Rey assured. "Just let me know if you hear anything, okay?"

"Okay," Finn agreed. He turned to Ren.

"If you hurt her…"

"I won't," Ren said, aware his assurance meant nothing to Finn. The friends said their goodbyes, and Maz followed Chewie, Rey, and Ren to the new ship. It was an old Naboo Royal Starship. However, over the years it had received multiple modifications and updates that made it nearly unrecognizable; only the structure remained the same.

Ren and Chewie boarded the ship, but before Rey could follow them, Maz grabbed her hand.

"Please be careful," Maz warned.

"I will be," Rey assured. It was just Coruscant, just a retrieval of a record. Rey knew it was nothing to worry about. Maz let Rey's hand go, and Rey turned to leave.

"And Rey," Maz called, "don't overestimate your power."

 **Thank you so much for reading chapter three! I appreciate the reviews and follows!**


	4. Chapter 4

Kylo Ren had visited Coruscant many times, but he didn't care for the planet. The crowds and traffic and city lights didn't suit him. But he knew how to survive in the city.

Rey, on the other hand, did not.

Rey leaned forward in the pilot's seat, gazing at the city with equal parts fear and confusion. It was night, but the city lights lit up the entire sky. She had had no idea what an urban system looked like; even after leaving Jakku, she'd lived a life of seclusion. Training with Luke…moving from one Rebellion base to another…none of it had prepared her for this.

As they were descending, a few ships flew beside them and directed Rey to a landing bay. Despite her anxiety, she landed the ship with ease. She took a few deep breaths, trying to gather her confidence, trying to figure out the next steps she should take.

"Alright…C-3PO will stay with the ship, and the rest of us will find the Temple, retrieve the record from the archive, and leave as soon as we can," Rey grabbed her satchel that contained both her lightsaber and credits and stood up. Chewie didn't move.

"What's the matter?" Rey asked.

" _Rurhurrurur,_ " Chewie responded.

"What do you _mean_ you can't come with us?" The thought of being in this place with only Ren to keep her company was a dismal thought.

" _Raaaahhh_ ," Chewie added, distressed.

"I'm sure there are plenty of Wookiees here…You don't like the city, is that it?"

The Wookiee was silent.

"Fine, stay here with the ship. I couldn't care less," Rey lied, secretly hoping her indifference would make Chewbacca change his mind.

He didn't move.

Rey looked over at Ren, who was avoiding making eye contact with her. She had no choice but to take him with her. She didn't want to wander through the city on her own. And she certainly didn't trust either Chewbacca or C-3PO enough to watch Ren. Rey briefly considered what Maz had told her, about how she needed to take him because he was just as strong in the Force. He could help her.

As much as the thought of being alone with Ren terrified her, it was her only choice.

"Right then," she said, pulling back her shoulders and standing up straight. "Let's go." Without looking at Ren to make sure he was following, she lowered the ramp of the ship and walked out into the docking bay.

Rey charged ahead, trying to appear like she knew exactly what she was doing. When they reached the elevator, all her feigned confidence disappeared. She stared at the buttons, trying to figure out quickly what she was supposed to press.

Without a word, Ren reached forward and pressed the button that would take them to ground level. The elevator immediately descended with electrifying speed, and Rey fought the urge to hold on to the side of the elevator. She looked at Ren out of the corner of her eye. He was looking forward, and he didn't make a single expression. She didn't understand how someone couldn't be terrified by something so strange. But then, she reasoned, he never showed much emotion anyway.

"How do we find the Jedi temple?" Rey asked, breaking the silence. She stood with her arms folded and didn't look at him when she spoke.

"I think we should find a speeder first," Ren recommended. "After that, the Temple shouldn't be difficult to find. Most speeders have locating systems." She nodded. Her shallow, nervous breaths became the only sound in the elevator. Ren thought it somewhat ironic that she was both a pilot and a Jedi, and she was afraid of something as trivial as a high-speed elevator.

"Are you…" he cleared his throat "…are you okay?" His eyes shifted nervously as he spoke. Rey turned her head to look at him, her brow furrowed.

"Yes. Of course," she nodded, forgetting about the elevator monetarily and thinking instead about how strange Ren was acting.

When they reached ground level, they were immediately immersed in the disgusting streets of Coruscant. The flashing lights and piercing sounds and unfriendly crowds made Ren long for the relative comforts of his prison cell on Yavin 4. Their attempt at remaining hidden was failing. Ren was dressed in his typical dark clothes, and Rey was dressed in tan Jedi attire. It was a stark contrast to the colorful clothing every other creature on the planet was wearing. It also didn't help that Rey was wearing an expression of equal parts terror and fascination.

As Rey glanced anxiously around her, Ren debated running away.

It wouldn't be very difficult. Even if Rey could eventually locate him by using the Force, he could escape before she found him. Surely there were First Order sympathizers that would help him find a pilot. He could leave to some rural system where no one would ever find him and live the rest of his life alone.

But Ren knew he couldn't do it. Maz was right about the call to the light. And for some reason, he felt as if he had to help Rey. And a piece of him wanted to earn her trust.

They eventually found a place to borrow a speeder. After looking over each speeder carefully, Rey chose a blue and silver one with an open cockpit. Without hesitation, Rey jumped in the pilot seat. She looked at the controls, a little confused. Everything she had piloted, and every ship she had ever seen, had been outdated. This was modern, and something completely different than she had ever seen.

After a few moments, Ren decided to speak up.

"Pull that handle." Rey glared at him before following his instruction.

"And then you—"

"I _know_ how to pilot a speeder. I'm just—familiarizing myself with the controls." She looked down at the unfamiliar buttons and levers and finally decided to take chances. Thankfully, she figured out how to take the speeder out of a park mode, and within moments, they were airborne.

Ren reached over and activated the location device.

Rey fought the urge to push his hand away from the controls.

"I can do this," she assured.

"I know you can," Ren said. "I'm just trying to help."

"I don't need your help," Rey sassed. "I'm perfectly fine on my own." She sensed the annoyance rising within him. A part of her wanted him to lose control. She wanted an excuse to be mad at him. It would be easier than trying to figure out whether or not she could _actually_ trust him. Unfortunately, the tension quickly dissipated and the awkward silence returned.

Ren looked at the countless number of speeders rushing throughout the city. It reminded him of when he was a child, visiting the planet with his mother. While she was at meetings or working, he would look out the window in his room and stare at the speeders, dreaming about what it would be like to fly a speeder and have the freedom to explore the city and go wherever he wanted. But he never did explore. He was usually left alone in their quarters with only C-3PO for company.

His father had made the habit of avoiding civilized systems and usually refused to go with them. The one time he did accompany them to Coruscant, he fought with Leia the entire time and hadn't bothered to take Ren with him when he went places in the city. Ren knew that his father had likely been conducting some business of an illegal nature. The abandonment, however, wasn't what had really bothered Ren. It was the conversation he had overheard.

"I hate leaving Ben here. But what else am I supposed to do?" Leia told Han. "I feel like a terrible mother."

"Well, I'm sorry, Princess, but that's what we have to deal with," Han sighed.

"I would like it if you didn't refer to Ben as _that_. And I don't want him to go away. I just don't feel prepared for this responsibility."

"Do you think I'm _prepared_ for any of this? Me, the husband of some important flashy senator who's making decisions for the galaxy? I'm a smuggler. I don't belong in your world."

There had been a brief silence that passed between them.

"Then why don't you just leave?" Leia dared.

"Look—it's not that I want to leave. I just feel like we're too different. And having a kid didn't make this anything easier."

"Oh please. Don't talk to me about how difficult it is to be a parent. You barely talk to Ben. When was the last time you spent time with him?"

"Hey, it's not my fault I have nothing in common with the kid! He's not normal. He's quiet. He's too obedient—and too thoughtful."

"It's because the Force is strong in him," Leia replied.

"And whose fault is that? Certainly not mine," Han said. He stormed out of the room after that, and the next day, he was gone.

It was their conversation that created anger within Ren. It was the moment he realized he wasn't wanted, and even though Leia always told him that she cared, it didn't make a difference. Han started becoming more and more absent from Ben's life. Eventually, both of his parents stopped trying to connect with him, and he stopped seeking their company.

Then, they sent him away to train with Luke.

"Is that the Temple?" Rey asked, pulling Ren away from his memories. They were approaching a tall, ancient building of a strange construction that had five tall spires on top of it.

"It must be," Ren said.

Rey lowered the speeder outside of the building, right next to a crumbling, yet impressive staircase. It was a relic, and after the Emperor and the Empire were defeated, it had been abandoned. Without speaking to each other, they exited the speeder and started walking up the steps.

"Can you feel it?" Rey asked. "How strong the Force is here?"

"Yes," Ren replied solemnly. The feeling was edged with bitterness. He sensed the terror of the Jedi that had been executed here, and he felt the darkness that invaded after the Emperor made the Temple his palace. The light and dark were in great conflict here.

Rey felt as if she had been here before. As they walked through the grand hallway, she felt as if she was living a dream. What disturbed her most was that her vision of the Temple contradicted what she was currently seeing. Somehow, she knew she had seen the Temple as it had appeared decades ago.

"The archive is this way," Rey stated, turning down a hallway and picking up her pace.

"How do you know?" Ren questioned.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I just…I feel like this is familiar." Ren didn't protest her lack of logic and followed her.

The archive was a dismal sight. Desks and shelves had been overturned, and from the way it appeared, all of the records had been destroyed. The only light came from cracks in the ceiling.

"I don't understand...there's nothing here." Rey asked, confused.

"I'll look in the rows further ahead," Ren volunteered. "There might be something there." He wandered further into the archives, and Rey started searching the collections near the front. She quickly glanced through the shelves, looking for the record. After a few moments, she came to the sudden realization that there was no possible way the record existed. But if the record didn't exist, why would Luke send her here?

She felt a great disturbance in the Force. Terror flooded her.

"Ben!" Rey yelled, and started to run to the back of the archives. She quickly reached for her lightsaber.

But before Rey could ignite the weapon, she felt a strange sensation pass over her. The dark stole her consciousness, and she collapsed to the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

Kylo Ren's eyes opened, but they only saw darkness. It hadn't been a nightmare. He immediately tried to move, but his arms were tied behind the back of the chair he was sitting on. Someone had gagged him. Fear swept through him. He tried to slow his shallow, panicked breaths as he remembered what had happened.

"Master of the Knights of Ren. How _pitiful_ you've become." A vile, mechanical voice echoed through the room. Ren sensed the presence of the dark side in the captor. Before Ren could determine where the voice was coming from, fingers dug into the back of Ren's head and ripped off the cloth that covered his mouth. Ren clenched his teeth together, trying to hold back a scream of pain.

He felt the figure walk around from the back of the chair to stand in front of him. However, in the darkness, it was impossible to discern the shape of the figure.

"You're trying to hold back your anger. What a shame. You had shown _so_ much progress. And now…now you've betrayed Snoke's teachings." Ren tried to remain calm, tried to suppress the fury that was threatening to rise inside of him. How did this monster know so much about him?

"I'm sure you want to know about the girl. You'd be happy to hear I've already…talked…to her."

"Oh," Ren stated, trying to sound indifferent, trying not to show weakness.

"Your feigned lack of concern is not lost on me," the figure laughed. Ren closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on Rey. He sensed she was still alive, and not far away, but he felt suffering and pain. It was enough to make him nauseous. When Ren didn't reply, the being began to speak again.

"As of late, you've committed many acts against the dark side. But I'm willing to look past your attempts at heroism and offer you a chance to join me, a _real_ Sith Lord. You see my…association…has been forming in the shadows for generations. While everyone was fighting each other, I was building an _actual_ army," said the voice, annoyed. "I have waited so many years for the galaxy to be in the state it is in right now. It's weaker now than it has ever been before. But I can't do it alone. I've been watching you for years, just as Snoke did. Usually, I don't consider myself the type to take an apprentice, but you seem _so_ promising. We can help each other get what we want."

"How could you possibly know what I want," replied Ren, his tone bitter and offensive.

"You want what you've always wanted. Power. And now I am giving you the promise of both freedom and _power_. Both of which Snoke would never give you. I believe that you and I are equals in the dark side, and together, we can bring a power to the galaxy that cannot be defeated."

"And you expect me to accept your offer," Ren replied. The voice chuckled softly.

"I think you know what the other option is."

Ren realized that this was his opportunity to get what he wanted for so many years. He could follow the journey Anakin Skywalker had embarked, and failed to complete. The journey that he had once been determined to finish. But more importantly, he would evade both death and exile.

But Ren thought of his mother. _There's light in you_ , she had told him. Maz believed in him. Even Han believed he could change. And Rey...she was starting to finally trust him. He couldn't imagine betraying her, even if it meant he would live. He would rather die now than be responsible for her death.

"I refuse," Ren stated. He expected immediate death. Instead, the Sith untied Ren and grabbed his arm. The long fingernails dug into Ren's arms, but Ren did not make a single gasp of pain.

The figure leaned over to hiss into his ear. A lightsaber was ignited, and he held the red blade inches away from Ren's neck.

"If you think your sudden heroism will change a single thing that you've done, or bring back the lives of the millions of people you've slaughtered, then you're nothing but a fool." The Sith pushed him down a hallway, the lightsaber buzzing as they walked. Ren tried to look into the face of the figure, but a dark cloak concealed his appearance. They entered a different area of the Jedi temple.

They turned sharply into a room. Unlike Ren's room, the ceiling allowed plenty of light into the room.

Rey was tied up to a chair. Ren started shaking in anger when he noticed that a large gash was across her forehead, and dark blood was slowly dripping down the sides of her face. Her skin was lifelessly pale. At the sound of their entrance, she lifted up her head and looked at them, her eyes filling with tears of fear. She didn't say a word.

Ren pulled his arm out of the hold, and the Sith Lord let him go towards her. Ren knelt beside her and slowly reached up to touch her face. His hand was trembling.

"I'm okay," she whispered, and tried to smile in assurance, but Ren could tell she was suffering.

"Take a good look at her, Ren. She's the "hero" of the galaxy, yet here she is…defenseless and pitiful. It's a humbling experience that she deserves, don't you think? Now she knows just powerful the dark side is." The remarks caused Ren to bolt up and walked towards the figure. Out of impulse, he started to manipulate the Force to choke the Sith. However, the Sith quickly raised his hand and stopped him. The Sith smiled as if it was a game.

"You're angry again," he remarked. Ren immediately stopped trying to Force choke him. Shame washed over him. It had been a mistake. The Sith continued to restrain Ren's movements. "There's no use fighting the dark…there's no use in trying to redeem yourself by saving the girl. She's just a pitiful scavenger from Jakku. Hardly worth saving once, let alone twice."

Rey's brow furrowed in confusion, and she looked up at Ren, confused. Ren didn't look at her. The Sith Lord glanced back and forth at Ren and Rey. He finally settled his gaze on Ren.

"She does not know?" He laughed.

"What does he mean," Rey asked Ren. Tears of pain, of confusion, of fear, were streaming down her face. She willed him to look at her, but he didn't glance at her for a single second. He only stared at the floor, his chest heaving.

"You know looking into someone's mind is fascinating, dear Rey," the cloaked figure said, shaking his head. "You have had no idea how many secrets Ren has been keeping. I was quite fascinated to learn them, myself. All of this time all anyone ever heard about was how a girl single-handedly defeated the leader of the First Order. But that isn't the truth, is it, Ren?"

"Rey, I…" Ren interjected. The Sith waved his hand, and Ren was thrown against the wall. Rey screamed. The Sith moved closer to her, undeterred by her scream.

"You thought you were able to face Snoke and kill the pitiful old creature because you defeated his apprentice first. But Ren barely put up a fight. And when you dueled with Snoke, he was using the Force to weaken him. You've been an absolute fool not to recognize it."

Ren stood up, slowly, his side on fire with pain. He looked at her, his eyes apologizing for not tell her. Rey didn't know how to feel. Part of her was angry, angry that she had needed his help. The other part of her was shocked to realize that he had turned away from the dark long ago, and had helped her. She was finally beginning to see the light within him.

She was jarred from her thoughts when the monster lifted up his lightsaber and held it close to her face. Finally, he pulled back the hood that covered his eyes. Rey found his appearance repulsive. His eyes were a bright yellow, and his face was half composed of metal. The other half had wires and covering it, and yet it was reminiscent of a Zabrak humanoid.

"I have seen your eyes before," the voice hissed. "I thought it a coincidence, but I know I could recognize those eyes anywhere. After so many years of surviving, I'm finally getting revenge. Pity, it isn't as challenging as I'd thought it would be." He lifted his lightsaber and was about to strike her when Ren ran up behind him and grabbed his arm. Moving swiftly, the Sith pushed him away and effortlessly knocked him to the ground. The Sith moved to stand over Ren.

"Your feelings aren't going to save her this time," the Sith laughed as he used his left arm to pin Ren to the floor. He walked back to Rey. Meanwhile, Ren struggled against the Force, struggled to stand, but the Sith was more powerful. Rey, trembling, refused to give the enemy the satisfaction of saying a single word. She closed her eyes, tried to find hope in the thought of seeing her family again, and waited for the lightsaber to strike her.

Meanwhile, Ren closed his eyes and prayed that she would forgive him for failing her. He waited to hear her screams and feel the pain of her death through the Force.

Instead, he heard a blaster being fired.

Ren opened his eyes and saw Luke Skywalker charging towards the Sith with his green lightsaber. In the doorway, Finn was pointing a blaster at the Sith, who had been momentarily hindered by the impact of the shot. The Sith was able to recover in time to use the Force to take away Finn's gun and fend off Luke's strike with his own lightsaber.

Ren moved to untie Rey, who was trying to shuffle away from the battle.

"Ren!" Finn shouted, tossing him a lightsaber. Ren recognized the shiny silver hilt as Anakin's. Without a second thought, Ren ignited the lightsaber and slashed Rey's restraints. She stood up immediately and felt disgustingly weak.

"Get her out of here," Ren commanded Finn, rushing to help Luke.

"I'm fine!" Rey insisted, even she was gritting her teeth. She collapsed to the floor in dizziness.

Meanwhile, Luke was engaged in his first lightsaber duel since he had fought his father on the second Death Star. He was still strong, but his opponent was stronger. He knew that the enemy had the advantage.

"Get to the _Falcon_!" Luke yelled. Finn nodded and picked up Rey, who was fading in and out of consciousness. Ren hesitated to follow them.

"Go!" Luke commanded Ren as he counteracted the strikes the Sith made. Ren refused to obey his uncle. He charged at the Sith. The Sith, however, was only temporarily hindered by Ren joining the battle. He ignited the other side of his double-bladed lightsaber and began to make an effort.

After a few moments, Luke was able to slash at the side of the enemy's leg. It was enough to make the Sith hesitate.

Ren saw it as the perfect opportunity to perform a Force push. The Sith was caught off guard, and he was thrown against the wall. It was not strong enough to make a significant difference, but it bought them some time.

"Run!" Luke said, and they sprinted to the doorway. They made decent progress down the hallway before the Sith caught up to them. He began to attack them again. They countered his strikes as they moved through the Jedi Temple. When they made it to the steps, they could hear the sound of the _Millennium Falcon._

The Sith struck with fury and managed to hit the hilt of Luke's lightsaber, which caused it to malfunction. During the Sith's momentary moment of triumph, Ren managed to strike the same leg that Luke had hit earlier. The shock from the impact bought them enough time to run down the steps to the _Falcon_.

Luke and Ren managed to run up the ramp of the _Falcon_ and close it just before the Sith could follow them.

Within moments, the _Falcon_ lifted up off the ground, and Ren stumbled to the floor in exhaustion.

 **Thank you so much for reading chapter five, and thank you for all of the reviews, follows, and favorites! I'm sorry that it has been taking me so long to update. Let me know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

"Thank the maker!" C-3PO exclaimed as he waddled to the hallway of the _Millennium Falcon_ where Luke was leaning against the wall and Kylo Ren was sitting, trying to catch his breath. "Master Luke tracked our ship to Coruscant. Of course, when he arrived, he discovered you two weren't there—"

"Later, Threepio," Luke instructed through short breaths.

"You okay back there?" Poe Dameron called from the cockpit. Within moments, they exited the Coruscant atmosphere. While Luke was examining his broken lightsaber, he called back.

"We're fine!"

"Well, hold on to something. We're jumping to lightspeed."

Kylo Ren was catching his breath. Luke glared at him, and Ren wondered why. He looked down at Anakin's lightsaber. It was still ignited. Without hesitation, he quickly sheathed the weapon and held it out to Luke.

"No. Keep it for now. It shouldn't be too difficult to fix this one, anyway," Luke said, looking at Ren cautiously anyway. The memories of his nephew that were clouding his mind weren't pleasant ones, but he chose to ignore them momentarily, in light of everything that had just happened.

Finn ran down the corridor of the _Millennium Falcon_ and found them.

"You need to come quick. It's Rey—" Ren quickly stood up, and Luke moved to follow Finn.

"Luke, I need to know where we're going!" Poe interrupted. Luke turned to Ren.

"I'll go help Dameron. Go see Rey." Ren nodded, and then followed Finn to the crew quarters. Rey was sitting on a cot, her trembling hands pressing on the gash in her head.

She glared at them out of the corner of her eye.

"Finn, I'm _fine_ ," she said. However, as she spoke, she closed her eyes tightly and gritted her teeth in pain.

"No, you're hurt," Ren stated. He went to the cabinet where he knew he would find the medical supplies Leia always made sure Han brought with him. Ren grabbed some clean rags and some antiseptic and poured the liquid on the cloth. It was strange for Rey to see Ren move with such familiarity around a ship she had only known apart from him.

"Clean the wound with this," Ren instructed Finn.

"Give me that," Rey demanded, trying to reach for the cloth but quickly stopping herself once she felt her head spin. Finn rapidly shook his head.

"I—well I'd rather not. I mean blood is—I'm going to go check on something," Finn mumbled as he rushed out of the room.

Ren held the cloth and looked at Rey, a little nervous.

"It's fine. Just get it over with," Rey said, closing her eyes, her body finally relaxing slightly. Cautiously, Ren dabbed the cloth at her wound, trying to be careful and put her through as little pain as possible. She inhaled sharply at the sting, and her fingers squeezed the edge of the cot but refused to make a sound. Her reluctance to admit pain reminded Ren of his mother's stubborn nature.

A few moments passed while Ren cleaned the cut. They didn't say anything to each other and avoided looking at each other in the eye. After he finished cleaning the wound, he took another cloth, pressed it against the wound and held it there to try to stop the rest of the bleeding.

Ren's movements were stiff and awkward, and his eyes darted to anything else in the room, anything other than Rey. He was uncomfortable being this close to her, touching her. If only he had had more of his father in him. Han would know what exactly to say in this situation.

"Ben…I mean…" Rey started speaking, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I'm sorry, I didn't…"

"It's fine," Ren said. Rey paused a moment before continuing.

"What the Sith said…about what you did to Snoke…was that true?" Ren finally looked down at her. Her hazel eyes were looking up at him with equal parts curiosity and confusion.

"Yes," he admitted reluctantly.

"Why didn't you say something before?"

"It wouldn't make a difference."

"It makes all the difference," Rey said. Ren's eyes shifted away in discomfort.

"I didn't mean to imply you weren't capable of defeating him on your own," he replied.

"That's not what I meant. What I mean is…" She didn't know what she meant. She thought about saying thank you. For what exactly, she didn't know. For trying to stop the Sith? For helping her with Snoke? For _what_?

She then thought of a thousand questions to ask him. She wanted to know why he had done it. Why he didn't tell her sooner. Why he never held what he did over her, never expected her to trust him. Why he had given up on the First Order.

Ren sensed her confusion and felt uncomfortable. Somehow everything was easier when she didn't know when she had only thought of him as a monster. Now she saw it. The light.

Sometimes even he wondered why he had chosen the light. He had had every reason to stay an apprentice to the dark side. The First Order was more powerful than the Resistance; both sides knew the destruction of Starkiller Base was pure luck. But the call to the light, to redemption, had still consumed him long after he had killed his father.

In fact, it had only gotten worse.

Before he had killed his father, Ren had convinced himself that his father hated him. Even when Ren had joined Snoke, he still hoped that Han would beg him to return home and would tell him he loved him. Ren thought that destroying the object of his hope would make him free from the call. What he didn't expect was to be wrong, and to realize that his father actually did love him. It only made him more conflicted.

And then there was Rey. The only other person he had met who was as strong as he was in the Force. Her dedication to the light bothered him. For a while, he believed destroying her would finally take away the call to the light. But it wasn't until the Resistance found the First Order on Felucia that Ren realized he was wrong. He came to terms with the fact that killing her would only tear him apart even more.

"I suppose I'm just wondering why you gave up," Rey said. Ren didn't reply immediately. An awkward silence filled the air.

"What did he do to you?" Ren asked, drawing his eyes to the gash, trying to avoid her question.

"Oh," said Rey, disappointed. "He made me unconscious and took me to the room. When I woke up, he tried to get me to talk. He wanted information. And when I didn't say anything, he tried to read my mind. I was able to fight back, but he was too powerful. He then gave me the cut. He said it would make you angry to see me injured."

Ren felt nauseous at the thought that he could have any role in making her feel like that.

"I'm sorry," he said. Rey was shocked at the verbal expression of sympathy, and the sincerity in his tone.

"It's not your fault," Rey assured. They made eye contact. Ren's first impulse was to look away, but he couldn't bring himself to remove his eyes from her gaze. He admired how that even amidst everything that had happened to her—her life on Jakku, her training with Luke…her responsibility to capture him and take down the First Order—she still had a childlike optimism and a spark inside of her that made her a fighter. In that moment, he allowed himself to admit that she was beautiful.

Rey, on the other hand, was confused. Her worst enemy, the person who had killed Han Solo, who had nearly killed her best friend was cleaning her wound and telling her he was sorry for something he didn't directly cause and telling her he was the reason the First Order was defeated. She only had known how to hate him. A piece of her even wanted to hate him now. His confession had taken away the pride and recognition she had had from taking down _both_ Kylo Ren and Supreme Leader Snoke. But she couldn't hate him any longer. He had saved her life.

What confused Rey the most, however, was that she couldn't stop thinking about the Sith's words to Ren. _Your feelings aren't going to save her this time._ She dismissed the words as meaning anything, and probably _not_ what she thought initially. Either way, it was too much to think about. She looked away, her cheeks flushing.

Thankfully, Luke appeared in the doorframe. Ren turned away from Rey and began putting the medical supplies back in the cabinet.

"I'm glad to see you're doing better, Rey," Luke observed.

"I've been through worse," she remarked, trying to appear strong. "I've been wondering why you sent us into a trap, however."

"It's a long story, really. I've been investigating this Sith Lord for some time. My first discovery was in Master Yoda's journals. He mentioned the possibility of another Sith Lord's existence, but it was only speculation. But he claimed that it was very likely this Sith was still trying to obtain power. After the Empire was defeated, I was able to gather more information. And then the…incident…at the new Jedi Temple occurred. So I stopped my investigation." Both Rey and Luke glanced at Ren, who was avoiding eye contact with either of them. Luke continued. "Recently, I looked closer at Master Yoda's journals. He mentioned a planet called Kamino, where clone armies were secretly created for the Clone Wars. After the Empire was established, however, clone armies eventually disappeared. If this threat was building, and if it was serious, I reasoned that it could be through a clone army. So I followed the lead to Kamino.

"Recently, I looked closer at Master Yoda's journals. He mentioned a planet called Kamino, where clone armies were secretly created for the Clone Wars. If a threat was building, and if it was serious, I reasoned that it could be through a clone army. So I followed the lead to Kamino.

"At first, the Kaminoans denied having any involvement in the creation of another clone army. A Jedi mind trick got them to reveal that they had moved operations to another planet in an unnamed system in the outer rim. As soon as I arrived at the planet, dozens of transport ships leaving. I decided to sneak into one of the buildings to see if I could discover anything about where they were going. I found a room filled with records and plans. I was able to learn about the planned attack on Yavin 4 before I was captured."

"If you were captured, how did you contact us?" Rey interrupted.

"A commander told me that his leader—a Sith—was interested in capturing Rey. I was forced to lead you to Coruscant and convince you the message was authentic. I was also told to include the information on the attack, knowing full well the attack had already occurred, and to tell you to get a new ship. The mention of the record was to get you to an exact location where the Sith could capture you."

"And you were able to escape?" Ren asked.

"When the troops returned from the attack on Yavin 4, I was able to slip away unnoticed. Only one guard was on duty, so I was able to trick him, find my lightsaber, and escape. However, my ship's communications had been damaged. I still was able to track the _Falcon_ to Takodana, though. Finn and Poe informed me you exchanged ships. We rushed to Coruscant and found your ship. Chewie and C-3PO told us you had already left for the temple, so we left immediately. And now, here we are."

"So there was no record?" Ren inquired. Luke looked back and forth at Rey and Ren.

"No. But I have discovered some information I need to retrieve. But it isn't on Coruscant; it's on Tatooine. We're on our way there right now."

"Tatooine?" Ren asked. He remembered the planet from his family's stories.

"I've been talking with an old friend. From what I understand, he had managed to obtain the information about the Sith before abandoning the Jedi Temple after Order 66." Luke paused and looked at Rey before continuing, addressing her as he spoke. "Rey, the information is in the home of my old master. I've learned that he was your grandfather."

"My grandfather?" Her heart pounded in her chest, and she looked at Luke in confusion and excitement.

"Yes," Luke stated, "Your grandfather, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

 **Thank you for reading chapter six! Hope you liked it! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

Rey looked at Luke, her eyes narrowed in confusion. She felt her chest tighten with emotion. "I don't understand," she said, shaking her head. "I've never heard of Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"I don't understand," she said, shaking her head. "I've never heard of Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"It's because he never met your mother," Luke informed. "Your mother was his daughter."

"And you're certain I'm related to him?" Rey asked, wondering for a moment if Luke had made an assumption from speculation.

"Yes," Luke replied, a brief smile flickering at the corners of his mouth. Rey stared at him in disbelief, still trying to process the information.

"How long have you known?"

"He appeared to me as a Force ghost on Ach-To and told me shortly before you arrived," Luke stated. Rey's eyes grew wide in shock. She didn't think he would have gone that long without mentioning a word to her about it. "I didn't tell you because it was unnecessary at the time. You needed to focus on defeating Snoke."

Rey looked away from Luke. She tightened her grip on the edge of the cot and stared at the floor while trying to make sense of the feelings arising within her. Suddenly, she recalled the Sith saying he had recognized her eyes.

"And Obi-Wan faced this Sith in the past," she stated. "That's why he has the information we need."

"Right," Luke said. Rey nodded slowly. Kylo Ren could sense a flicker of anger within her. It was the same feeling she had had when they had first dueled on Starkiller Base, the feeling that had prompted him to ask her to be his apprentice.

"I—I think I need a few moments if you wouldn't mind," Rey requested. Luke glanced at Ren and gestured to the doorway. The two exited the room.

Rey sat for a few moments in disbelief before she felt secure enough in her privacy to let her frustration manifest itself in the form of abundant, yet silent, tears.  
She berated herself for crying over something so ridiculous. There was no connection between her and this Obi-Wan Kenobi besides blood. It was just a name; he didn't mean anything to her. And it wasn't like the knowledge changed anything.

Except the truth reopened the wound she had desperately tried to heal.

Rey had thoroughly believed that she had no longer felt the feeling of abandonment she had felt when her family left her. She had accepted her situation for what it was once had found belonging elsewhere. She knew she didn't need a family. She had Finn and Poe. She had Luke and Leia. She even had Chewie and Maz and C-3PO and BB-8. But Rey realized now that she would always want a true family. Leaving Jakku didn't make that longing disappear; all she had done for the past few years was ignore her feelings.

She wondered why Luke didn't believe it wasn't important to tell her about Obi-Wan. He had memories and stories of her grandfather. He even had the ability to converse with him. But for some reason, he decided to keep his knowledge from her. But for what benefit?

Rey felt her frustration grow larger and larger. She shut her eyes, trying to concentrate on stopping the bitter emotion.

However, all she heard was a quiet, yet persistent voice giving her the permission to let herself drown in the self-pity she deserved, a permission Luke would never give her.

Rey gave up and listened to the voice.

Immediately, she felt bombarded with wrath, and her frustration manifested itself in a deep hatred for Kylo Ren. She loathed him for having what she could never have: he had a family who loved him, a father who returned for him, and a mother who forgave him.

The dark that had been somewhat latent in Rey had been brought to life.

Earlier, Luke and Ren were standing in the corridor of the Falcon, out of earshot from anyone else.

"Why didn't you tell Rey about Ben Kenobi?" Ren asked. Luke arched his eyebrow at the question. He hadn't realized that his nephew was concerned about his apprentice.

"I knew it would challenge her beyond what she was prepared for. It's the same reason why Obi-Wan and Yoda decided not to tell me that Vader was my father."

"And you believe she should know now?"

"Rey's strong," Luke assured. "She always has been."

"But there is weakness still within her."

"We all have our weaknesses," Luke said. "But Rey has always managed to defeat them." Ren wondered if that was true, or if her master had a false confidence in her strength in the Force. Luke changed the conversation.

"I didn't go to the Jedi Temple to rescue you, you know," Luke said. Ren nodded slowly in understanding and remained expressionless, trying to appear unaffected by his uncle's remark. "But Leia told me a while ago to give you a second chance. At first, I thought she was refusing to accept what you had done, but after what I saw…I'm beginning to think she's right about there still being light in you."

Ren didn't know what to say. His uncle's partial acceptance meant more to him than he cared to admit.

"Well, I'm going to fix this lightsaber," Luke said. "It shouldn't take long. Why don't you go check on things in the hold?" Ren nodded and made his way into the main hold, where Finn was sitting at the table. He looked up at Ren when he walked into the room.

"Is Rey okay?" Finn inquired.

"She's doing better," Ren stated. "The wound has stopped bleeding." Finn nodded, making a conscious effort to appear confident. Ren was just as nervous at the interaction as Finn was.

"And how are you doing? You doing okay?" Finn asked, fidgeting.

"Yes," Ren said, slightly surprised at Finn's concern. Finn crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat. Ren sat at the table, not sure what else to do or where else to go. The two sat in silence for a little bit, occupied with their thoughts. Finally, Finn broke the silence.

"Ren, I've been thinking," Finn said, angling his body to face his. He folded his hands and placed them on the table, trying to appear at ease. "You saw that's army's armor right? The one that invaded Yavin 4?"

"Yes. From what I understand, it was a clone army."

"Right. Luke told me that, too. Well, I know you're not really knowledgeable about Stormtrooper things…so I don't know if you noticed that the armor they used was considered for the First Order." Ren looked at Finn, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Captain Phasma would sometimes test different kinds of armor on different Stormtroopers, just to see if they worked. The armor the army at Yavin 4 used was actually her first decision, but I heard they didn't end up using it because it was too expensive to mass produce."

"So you're saying this army copied the First Order's design?" Ren asked. Finn shook his head.

"I'm saying someone from the First Order works for this mystery army," Finn stated, quite satisfied with his information.

"You think this person is me?" Ren asked.

"No. But that's only because too much confusing stuff has happened with you since we were attacked at Yavin 4. Plus, you know, I'm the one who handed you a lightsaber earlier today." Finn smiled a little bit and put his hands behind his head.

The real reason why Finn knew Ren wasn't involved with the enemy was because he was confident that Ren had no knowledge of Stormtrooper armor. But Finn reasoned it wouldn't hurt to get on Ren's good side. Not only because he had to trust him with Rey, and because Ren had helped Luke at the Jedi Temple, but because he realized the last thing he wanted to do was become Ren's enemy.

Poe Dameron entered the room and immediately made eye contact with Kylo Ren. He gave a brief nod, acknowledging his presence.

"Luke told me about what happened," Poe said, trying to make conversation. "Just when you think this galaxy couldn't get any stranger, another Sith shows up." Poe leaned against the wall and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well, the _Falcon_ flies nice. Very fast, only a bit clunky on the controls, though. I'm surprised something so ancient could run so well."

"My father took good care of it," Ren stated. Poe nodded in reply.

"Yeah, he did. Still, we have about a day until we reach Tatooine. It's a long journey to the Outer Rim. Can't say I've ever wanted to go to Tatooine," Poe chuckled. Ren, however, detected an edge of bitterness in Poe's words.

"I swore I would never go to another desert again," Finn shaking his head in disbelief as he recalled memories of wandering through Jakku. "But I guess I don't have a choice."

"Huh. Well, I think we should be helping regroup the Resistance," Poe remarked, "not going on some mission to uncover information that probably won't help us."

"I take it you haven't received information from General Organa," Ren said, genuinely curious about his mother's whereabouts.

"Apparently she escaped to a base on Endor, but we haven't received any more news on the Resistance since leaving Takodana. Two more bases were attacked. No one seems to know what to do. We have no government to help, either. The Resistance might have won, but we're hardly prepared for peace, let alone another war."

"As long as they don't have another Starkiller Base," Finn remarked, trying to add a bit of humor to the situation.

"We have no way of knowing if they do or don't," Poe sighed in frustration. "Luke found _one planet_ with _one_ factory. There could be more, for all we know."

Poe was tired of fighting, tired of carrying so much responsibility on his shoulders. And now he had been roped into helping a Jedi with his useless mission. It wasn't that Poe didn't respect the Jedi and what they believed; Poe knew for a fact that his skill with flying had come from the Force, and he was grateful for it. But he still didn't understand Luke's decisions.

Luke walked into the main hold, holding his lightsaber. Poe immediately felt annoyed at presence, even though he didn't want to be. It was as if something was turning his small doubt into a consuming anger.

"Luke, I need to know what our plan after getting this so-called information," Poe asked, shocked at the bitterness of his words.

"I'm not sure," Luke said, trying to ignore Poe's tone. "It depends on what we find."

"You're not _sure_ ," Poe said, placing his hands on his face in frustration. Finn looked back and forth between his best friend and the Jedi anxiously, the tension making him very uncomfortable. Ren, too, felt extremely disturbed. Poe felt a sudden rush of anger overwhelm him, and he lost the ability to censor his feelings. "The whole fate of the galaxy is at risk here. Don't you think we should have some sort of plan?"

"Of course," Luke said. "And right now, our plan is to get the information we need on the Sith."

"People are dying, Skywalker!"

"And they'll continue to die until we get information!" Luke shouted, his eyes filled with rage. Ren himself was starting to feel a nagging anger surging within him. He closed his eyes, trying to escape the feeling, trying to make it disappear.

"This better be some good information," Poe retorted.

"If we don't know how to defeat the Sith, we'll only be wasting our time fighting his armies."

"You can't pretend like you know that this is going to help. We need to be on the front lines."

"When we get to Tatooine, you're free to leave," Luke informed, clenching his jaw in anger.

"Trust me, I'm leaving as soon as possible," Poe scoffed. "And don't you dare think you're some hero for doing this, because not too long ago, the whole galaxy was at risk and you decide to run off to some planet to hide and do _nothing_. I almost _died_ to get a map so we could find you! And the way you make up for the fact that the Resistance protected the galaxy in your absence is by running off _again_ when they need you the most. You're a coward."

Ren began to sensing what no one else had felt. The Force was manipulating their feelings, making them angry. It was the same trick he had used on Snoke to disorient him during his fight with Rey, only it was being used to expose the darkness within them. It had to be the Sith. Somehow, he was controlling their emotions from afar.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second! Aren't we all on the same side?" Finn shouted, standing up and holding his hands up in defense. Luke and Poe ignored him. Finn appeared to be unaffected; Ren reasoned the trick must only be working on Force-sensitives.

Luke felt anger nagging on him intensely, even more viciously than he had felt even when he had faced The Emperor and Vader. In a moment of weakness, he reached for his lightsaber. Poe reached for his blaster in response. Luke was about to ignite it when he felt it pulled away from his grasp. He looked over at Ren, who was clutching the lightsaber tightly. Luke turned his attention back to Poe. Before he had the opportunity to use the Force against him, and before Poe had the opportunity to fire, Finn stepped between them. The interruption temporarily forced Poe and Luke back into their right minds.

Just before Ren thought the danger disappeared, he felt Luke's lightsaber slip out of his hands. He looked to the doorway and saw Rey standing there, her eyes filled with rage.

Before Ren could explain what was happening, she ignited the lightsaber. Ren reached for Anakin's lightsaber and was able to activate it in time to defend himself from her attack.

Finn looked at the spectacle in disbelief.

"Look, I have no idea what's going on right now, but this needs to stop!" He shouted though no one seemed to notice. Before Rey was able to strike again, Ren rushed to the corridor, trying to draw her away from Finn and Luke and Poe.

She swung at him multiple times, pushing him further and further towards the back of the ship. He barely managed to defend her strikes. He tried to connect to the Force to help him, but it was distant. The only way he would be able to reach it would be through his anger. But he couldn't allow himself to do it. He swore he would never use the dark side again.

"This isn't what you want!" He exclaimed just before she swung at him again. The blade came dangerously close to his face. She withdrew her lightsaber and looked at him, staring up at him.

"How do _you_ know what I want?" She asked. Her wound had reopened, and blood was starting to trickle down the side of her face.

"Rey, it's the Sith. He's trying to turn us against each other," he stated between labored breaths. Rey shook her head.

"No, I'm supposed to kill you. You killed your own _father_. You almost destroyed the whole galaxy. No matter what you do, you'll never be anything but a _monster_. You deserve to die." She attacked once again, shouting in anger, and this time, Ren struggled to not to retaliate.

"I'm not a hero," Ren said, shaking from trying to suppress his own fury. "I never will be. But don't pretend like you're a savior." His words made her even more vicious. She struck at him ferociously, and he barely managed to fight her off.

"You feel it, don't you?" Ren said. She paused momentarily. "The dark. It's infecting you. You're feeling how great and powerful it is." Rey breathed heavily. A small flicker of realization passed over her.

"How could you know what I'm feeling?" she spat.

"Because I feel it, too," he said, his eyes full understanding. "Rey…fight against it."

After a few moments of thinking, she stood back and looked at him. Suddenly, realization dawned on her. She looked down at the lightsaber and quickly turned it off. She dropped it, disgusted. She covered her mouth and started to sob, her body shaking in fear of what she had become.

"I—I don't know…I didn't mean—I…" Ren didn't know what to do, but he knew he couldn't just stand there. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest.

Rey embraced the touch and the feeling of being comforted, of being protected from herself. She was terrified by what she had done; she didn't realize she had the capacity to hate that much. The dark side was no longer a distant enemy, something she could master, something she could easily control. It had been alive within her. It had _controlled_ her. She understood now what Ren had dealt with, why it was so easy for him to give into anger.

After a few moments, when her heavy sobs had disappeared, he pulled away. He reached up and gently wiped the blood away from her cut.

"You need to rest," he said, avoiding making eye contact with her. "I'm…I'm going to make sure everyone else is alright." He picked Luke's lightsaber up off the floor and left abruptly, rushing down the hallway. Standing alone in the corridor, Rey realized she couldn't decide if she was so embarrassed that she never wanted to see him again or if she wanted him to come back.

Rey heard a few beeps and looked down to see BB-8 next to her. Rey wiped her tears away with the palm of her hand.

"I'm fine," she said, trying to stop the tears. The droid beeped a question. She laughed softly.

"You're right. I suppose I wouldn't tell you if I wasn't."

 **I hope you enjoyed Chapter Seven! Thank you so much for reading. Also, for the users who have reviewed, thank you! This is the first FanFiction I've ever written, so the support and reviews mean a lot to me! Also, I'm sorry for the issues with posting the chapter earlier! SO frustrating :)**


	8. Chapter 8

"Rey! Rey, wake up! We'll be on Tatooine soon." Finn gently nudged Rey awake. She gasped and sat up straight on the cot. Her heart was racing and she felt like she couldn't breathe. "Hey, you okay?" Finn asked, panic in his voice.

She reached out and grabbed his arm, making sure he was real.

"Yeah," she said between breaths. "I think so."

"What happened? A nightmare?" Rey nodded, her throat too tight to speak. He shook his head.

"Was it the Sith again? Was he messing with your mind?"

"I don't know," Rey replied, remembering the vision. She had seen the bodies of her friends scattered on the ground. She didn't understand what had happened until she had seen Kylo Ren's lightsaber in her hand, and she was standing next to the Sith, who was congratulating her on her massacre. It had been as frightening as the vision she had had on Takodana when she first had found Anakin's lightsaber.

Finn shook his head in disbelief.

"What's been happening…this is scary stuff. Unreal." He paused a moment before continuing. "I think Poe and Luke have everything figured out. Luke told me and Poe to take charge of the Resistance efforts. We're going to contact everyone we can and figure out a plan. He said he's taking you and Kylo Ren with him on Tatooine."

Rey wasn't sure she wanted to leave the ship at all. But she couldn't avoid the responsibility she had as an apprentice. She certainly didn't want to see Kylo Ren again. A meeting with him after what had happened would be inevitably awkward, now that he had every reason to hate her.

But then again, why did she care what he thought about her?

"Then I better find Luke," Rey said, trying to gain composure. She swung her legs to the side of the cot and stood up. The two left the crew quarters and went to the main hold, where Luke, C-3PO, and Chewbacca were sitting around a table, engrossed in the game of Dejarik being played between the Jedi and the Wookie.

"There you are," Luke said, looking momentarily away from the game to look at Rey. "Are you feeling better?"

"I think so," Rey said, hoping to mask her insecurity.

"Good. Finn, could you go get Ben from the cockpit?"

"Sure," Finn said, nodding. Rey took a seat next to Luke and leaned forward to watch the game. Luke advanced a monster, which proceeded to defeat Chewbacca's. Chewbacca growled at Luke. "I'm not going to let you win, Chewie."

The Wookie leaned back and crossed his arms, not very happy at Luke's statement.

Ren strolled in at that moment, finding the scene a bit strange and all too familiar. Something to this effect had happened years ago when he and his uncle had teamed up against Chewbacca to play Dejarik on route to Hosnian Prime. He must have been six or seven years old at the time.

The first one to notice Ren was Rey. She looked up at him and then quickly looked away in embarrassment. He couldn't help blushing, and he started to berate himself for what had happened. He misread her strange behavior as her being upset with him for embracing her after their fight. He wished he could tell her how much he regretted the action, and he wanted to reassure her that he would never touch her again.

Ren had avoided touch for years. It made the call to the light more intense, more vibrant. For months after he killed his father, all he could think of was the moment he felt the touch of Han's fingers and the empty absence of the warmth on his cheek when the hand slipped away.

Ren recalled the conversation he had with his mother on Yavin 4. Leia had cradled his face the same way Han had as if she had known what had happened on Starkiller Base. Like she had known what it had done to him.

Holding Rey was also overwhelming, but it was somehow different because he initiated the contact. He couldn't stop thinking of the moment. He felt as if she had accepted him. For a moment, he didn't feel like she thought of him as a monster. For a moment, he had been free from what he had done.

It gave him hope.

This false hope was the reason why he never revealed to anyone that he had betrayed Snoke on Felucia. He knew that blurring the lines between dark and light would lead to this—this feeling.

He didn't think he had helped her because he loved her. He knew he cared about her. But it was because she was the light within him, the person who he was supposed to become. The person his family wanted him to be. The Jedi the galaxy needed. But after she attacked him, he finally realized she was as broken as he was. She had darkness in her, as well.

No, helping her defeat Snoke hadn't been an act committed out of love for her. It was the call to the light. But now, he wondered at the possibility that they were the same thing.

Luke shut the game off.

" _Grahh_!" Chewie exclaimed, angry that the game was over.

"Oh don't complain," Luke said. "You were losing anyway."

The Wookie wasn't happy about the statement. Ignoring Chewie, Luke began to address Ren and Rey. "I've spoken with Poe about our plan. Threepio, you two, and I are going to get a speeder once we get to Mos Eisley, and then we'll go to Ben's hut."

"Ben?" Rey asked, confused.

"Ben Kenobi. Obi-Wan used to go by Ben." Rey's eyes grew wide as she realized the connection. Ren felt heat rush to his face.

"Excuse me, Sir, but don't you believe it would benefit us to land closer to the Kenobi residence?" Threepio interjected. Luke shook his head.

"No. We don't want to get too close to the Jundland Wastes, just in case some Tusken Raiders attack the _Falcon_. And Poe and Finn will be able to reach the Resistance members more easily in Mos Eisley."

"How long will it take?" Rey asked.

"It'll be mid-afternoon when we land, and by the time we get to Ben's, it'll be too late to leave. We'll spend the night there and leave early the next morning." Rey nodded, trying to appear indifferent when really she was flooded with anxiety at the notion of being away for too long.

"Anything else?" Ren asked.

"Just keep your eye out for the Sith. I'm relying on you to warn us if you suspect anything," Luke said. "You're the one who knows him the most." Ren nodded. He was happy to have his uncle's trust.

The _Falcon_ jolted out of lightspeed and began its descent into the city.

"I'm going to check in with Poe one more time. Get ready to leave as soon as we land," Luke instructed, standing up from the table. Chewie and C-3PO followed suit, leaving Ren and Rey alone. Before she could leave, Ren decided he needed to try and mend the rift between them.

He didn't know what to say, so he detached Anakin's lightsaber from his belt and held it out to her.

"Take it," he insisted. She shook her head, not certain she ever wanted to touch a lightsaber again.

"No—I don't think I should have it," she said, thinking again of the nightmare.

"This what he wants. He wants to make you doubt your power. He wants to make you afraid," Ren said, sensing the fear alive within her. "Don't let him have that power over you."

Rey realized what he was saying. He didn't blame her for what she had done. It was more than just him giving her a lightsaber. It was him forgiving her, trusting her. He had seen the darkest piece of her and had accepted it. It was an expression of compassion, an act of sacrifice.

She reached forward and took the lightsaber, thinking she didn't deserve it. She prayed she wouldn't betray his trust.

Mos Eisley Spaceport was unlike anything Ren had ever seen. He'd grown up in worlds and planets of chaos, but they were of a completely different sort. This was nothing but pure madness.

A strong wind blew in from the east, lifting minuscule particles of sand into the air. Every time Ren inhaled, he fought the urge to cough. Rey seemed to be unaffected by the dirty air, and Luke was indifferent, as well. The only one who seemed to share in his suffering was C-3PO, who was waddling a little more, his joints stiffer than usual, but even he wouldn't complain.

"I thought you said Tatooine was like Jakku," Rey remarked to Luke, yelling at him over the noise of the crowd. "Niima Outpost pales in comparison to this monstrosity."

"It's changed drastically," Luke commented, drawing the hood of his robe up over his head to shield himself from the sand. The last time he was on Tatooine was shortly after the defeat of the Empire. "It's worse now."

"It must be because the First Order was defeated," Ren stated. "There's no reason to hide criminal activity. No one will hold anyone responsible for their actions." Luke and Rey silently agreed with Ren's observation. There was no denying that order was evaporating. The reaches of the Resistance had not yet extended to the Core Worlds, let alone the Outer Rim territories. It really was the optimal time for the Sith to try to gain power.

Ren realized that they were failing to blend in. Rey was drawing a lot of attention from the locals. Ren watched as the people and aliens hawking wares and shopping on the streets turned to look at her and dissect her appearance with their shifty eyes. He was disgusted. But he also knew she didn't need someone to look after her or protect her. However, he decided to be on his guard, just in case.

"These don't look half bad," Rey said, approaching a row of parked speeders. "They're in a bit of disrepair, but I've seen worse. They'll work."

"Good," Luke said. "I'll see if I can haggle with the dealer and get one for a decent price. Threepio'll come with me to translate. We'll be back soon." Alone together once again, Ren and Rey walked a few paces away from the speeders. They leaned against the walls of a building, trying to remain in the shade as much as possible. With nothing else to occupy them, they observed humans and humanoids and aliens walk past them on the sandy road.

"I hope one day there'll be no place else like this in the galaxy," Rey said, sighing in despair. "No one should have to live like this."

A group of children ran past them, laughing and playing a game of tag with each other. Rey thought how strange it was to see such innocence amidst the vileness of the city. They thought little of the future. They knew little of the Resistance or the First Order. All they knew were the criminalized, filthy streets of Mos Eisley. She was sickened by the realization that the children would likely stay on Tatooine their entire lives, moisture farming or trading on the streets. If they were lucky, they could smuggle or become criminals, bounty hunters, or gamblers. Not everyone was as fortunate as she had been.

"You don't believe they've made the choice?" Ren asked, quieting his deep voice to a level only she could hear.

"It's not a choice at all," Rey said, tracing a nonsense pattern in the sand with her foot, remembering her abandonment. "You do whatever it takes to survive—to have shelter and if you're lucky, a bit of a meal at the end of the day. Survival can turn you into someone you could never choose to be." She was afraid of considering who she would have been if she had never found BB-8. She wondered if she would still be alive, or if Unkar Plutt would have decided to let her starve to death.

Ren considered the truth in her words. Once he committed to serving Snoke, he had to become Kylo Ren in order to stay alive. For months, he considered returning home, but Snoke reminded him that leaving his guidance would result in Ren's death. Only the dark side could accept his sins. So he kept falling farther and farther under its infectious influence.

He was reminded of Rey's memories, the ones he had seen those many years ago. The loneliness, the desperation to sleep, the hopeless waiting—

"I'm sorry," he offered, knowing two words couldn't undo the scars of years of solitude. She turned to look at him.

She knew he had felt the same way she had.

"It's not your fault," Rey said. A moment passed before she decided to speak again. "I wonder where we would be without the Force. And sometimes I wonder why we were chosen." We. Ren thought it was a strange word for her to use. She had willingly associated herself with him. He tried not thinking about the use of the word too much.

Before he could answer, Luke returned.

"That's our speeder," Luke said, pointing at the rusty scrap of metal that happened to have an engine. Rey spotted a handful of repairs that could be within seconds of looking at it. "I know, it's a piece of junk. And it doesn't have a cover. I overpaid for it, too. But it's our only option."

"Could be worse," Rey said, as the four walked over to the speeder and climbed aboard. Without a word, Luke and Threepio sat in the front two seats, and Ren and Rey sat in the back.

Once they started towards Obi-Wan's hut, Ren thought more about what Rey had said. At first, he would have said he wished the Force didn't exist. Too many unspeakable things had happened to the galaxy because of its power. It had destroyed so many things. It had consumed him, just like it had consumed his grandfather. It was a plague.

And then he looked over at her. Driving in the speeder had caused little pieces of her hair to escape out of her three buns, and she was studying the desert landscape in wonder.

Without the Force, both of them wouldn't be here. This moment wouldn't exist. And for some reason, the thought of never existing and never being able to know her saddened him. He realized now that maybe, just maybe, he did love her, after all. 

**Thank you for reading! Sorry the update took so long!**


	9. Chapter 9

"Kylo?" Rey said, reaching over to touch his arm. The fire of her touch caused Kylo Ren to snap his attention back to the present moment. Rey was looking over at him with a strange curiosity in her eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to look at her.

"Yes?" he answered, nonchalantly.

"Are you all right?"

"Of course," he said, his voice becoming quieter as Luke began to slow the speeder. They were quickly approaching Kenobi's hut.

"You're fighting something…" she remarked. "…a feeling. But I'm not quite certain what it is."

"You're mistaken," Ren stated, feeling his face flush in embarrassment. She didn't even have to read his mind and she could sense the way he felt about her. He focused his efforts on concealing his emotions.

The speeder halted and Luke killed the engine before Rey could pry any further.

The three humans and the droid disembarked the speeder. Luke didn't immediately move towards the hut, though.

"That's strange," he remarked. "Ben's hut looks in better condition than it should be. It's been—I don't know, about forty years?—since Ben's lived here, but it appears to be in good condition. It looks like the exterior has been repaired somewhat recently."

"I can confirm Master Luke's statement," Threepio said, shuffling to join with the others. "Kenobi's hut does look quite changed. And might I add, I speak for all droids when I say we have excellent memories."

"Do you think someone's living here?" Rey said, moving to stand next to Luke.

"We won't know until we go inside," Ren remarked, desperate to escape the oppressive heat. It was late afternoon, and the twin suns had not yet started to disappear over the horizon. Ren strode towards the archaic metal door. Without hesitation, he turned the handle and walked inside. Luke, Rey, and Threepio soon filtered in behind him.

"Well, whoever was here is gone now," Luke said, glancing around the small hut, which was covered with a light film of sand. "And it looks like they have been for a good amount of time."

It was only a matter of moments before Rey began sensing something. She had expected to feel some kind of presence through the Force once she arrived at the hut, but this feeling was stranger than anything she had ever felt from the Force before. Suddenly, a strange thought began to push into her mind. At first, she pushed it away, fearing it was the Sith trying to probe and manipulate her mind from afar again, but she soon realized it was different. The voice that was trying to communicate with her felt quiet and familiar.

"Luke," Rey said while simultaneously listening to the Force, "this information we're looking for—it isn't from Obi-Wan Kenobi, is it?"

"What do you mean?" Luke asked, looking over at her, a puzzled expression on his face.

"It suddenly occurred to me—if Kenobi knew everything about this Sith, he would have told you. He wouldn't have bothered sending us to Tatooine." Luke considered her words for a moment or two before nodding.

"You're probably right," Luke stated. "But Kenobi managed to retrieve some Jedi archives before leaving Coruscant. Maybe he just never saw what was on them." Rey walked over to a bookshelf in the corner. Without a second thought, she grabbed a leather-bound book off of the shelf.

"This is it."

Ren looked over at her with a small look of surprise, confused as to how she found what they were looking for so quickly.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I would have expected the data to be stored electronically," Luke expressed, a small amount of doubt present in his voice. He walked over to Rey to get a closer look at the book.

"Writing is quite an ancient method of information recording if I do say so myself," Threepio added, choosing not to directly join in the excitement of the discovery and instead deciding to seat himself on the synstone bench in the far corner of the hut. The droid felt much joy at observing yet another adventure unfold before him, and he wanted to absorb as much information as he could into his infallible memory so he could relate the adventure to an audience later.

Luke removed the book from Rey's hands and opened the cover.

"This is strange," said Luke. "It appears to be a journal of some kind. But it belonged to a scholar, not Obi-Wan. This doesn't appear to be an official Jedi record."

"But I'm nearly certain this is important," Rey pleaded, looking over Luke's shoulder at the pages, her brow furrowed in frustration. Ren noticed the way her eyes were scanning the page frantically, trying to glean invisible evidence in the words. He sensed a panic, a struggle, in her efforts.

Then it occurred to Ren that Rey might not know how to read very well. After all, she had been a small child when she was abandoned on Jakku and probably didn't have an education or access to many books. Luke was about to close the book when Ren pulled it out of his hands.

"I'll look through it," Ren said, trying to justify taking abrupt possession of the item. Luke shrugged, indifferent to his nephew's action.

"Go right ahead," Luke replied, "I'll keep looking." With the journal in hand, Ren took a seat and opened the cover. The date written at the top of the page was from nearly seventy years ago. After a few moments of debating whether or not she should help Luke search through the rest of the hut, Rey walked over to Ren and sat on the chair next to him.

"What does it say?" she asked, leaning over to examine the pages. She could make out a few of the words and letters, but she couldn't keep up with Ren's pace.

"It's a journal of a young scholar, it appears," he said, flipping the pages. "A scholar from Alderaan…sent to Coruscant to work in the Jedi archives….Here he describes recording the Galactic Senate's decision of something called a 'vote of no confidence,'" Ren described, pointing to a paragraph on a yellowed page. Rey expected Ren to give up, to declare that the book was worthless like Luke had. To her surprise, he kept pursuing the pages and relating the information to her.

It was mainly an account of the writer's daily life happenings and a brief description of the politics of the time. Ren noticed that the writer had even mentioned his grandmother and applauded her efforts on Naboo.

"Now he—" Ren suddenly stopped speaking and stared at the page, as if looking at the words longer would reveal more information. He clutched the book tighter, his knuckles white.

"What is it?" Rey asked, her voice anxious. She directed her attention to the part of the page he had stopped on. It took her awhile to make out the words, but when she did, she felt the small presence that had urged her to grab the book off of the shelf growing louder. The voice did not belong to Obi-Wan Kenobi, it belonged to the writer of the journal, Lor San Tekka.

"You knew him," Rey whispered, loud enough so only Ren could hear. He nodded, his eyes never moving from the name on the page.

"He was my mother's friend. He was on Jakku the night when First Order attacked. He had the map to Luke—and I—I killed him." Though his voice shook and was filled with despair and regret, the confession brought Rey back to reality—the reality that Kylo Ren had been a killer. But instead of welcoming the thought and the hate like she had before, she wanted to go back to believing that he was a completely different man.

She thought of the lightsaber at her side. Ren had no defenses. He knew giving her the weapon meant she could kill him if he wanted to. He had willingly given her the power. He had surrendered.

That was the Kylo Ren, the Ben Solo, she wanted to believe was real. But Rey also knew she couldn't just forget everything he had done.

Rey appeared to be indifferent to Ren's statement, but he could sense the impact his words had on her. He knew telling her about how murdering the man would divide them further. But Ren wanted—no, he _needed_ —to continue to push her farther and farther away from him. It was the only thing that would keep him from hope.

"Please. Continue," she urged him, refusing to react to his confession. He nodded, and continued to read, but he chose not to speak as often. After a few moments, Ren stumbled across an interesting piece of information and called for Luke.

"Did you find something important?" Luke inquired, closing the book he was holding and walking across the hut to them.

"Apparently Kenobi and San Tekka were friends," Ren stated. "San Tekka states that Kenobi commissioned him to do research into a Sith named Darth Maul named Darth Maul after Kenobi admitted to having disturbing visions of the Sith, even after killing him on Naboo. This Darth Maul was a Zabrak, and his description nearly matches the Sith we fought on Coruscant, save the droid element."

"Interesting. What else?" Luke said. From the lack of any reaction from her master, Rey concluded that Luke never knew Lor San Tekka.

"Kenobi severed the Sith in two.""Well, then it can't be the Sith from Coruscant," Luke said, shaking his head and returning to the shelf. "There's no way any living being could survive an injury like that."

"Well, then it can't be the Sith from Coruscant," Luke said, shaking his head and returning to the shelf. "There's no way any living being could survive an injury like that."

"You're wrong. There is a possibility," Ren countered. Luke turned around to look at his nephew. He was a bit annoyed at his nephew's disrespect, but he didn't appear to react to Ren's challenge. Once he had Luke's attention, Ren spoke again. "Snoke told me about Darth Plagueis. He was immune to death until his apprentice Darth Sidious murdered him."

"How do you know that?" Luke remarked. He was shocked by his nephew's extensive knowledge of history that had taken him years to uncover.

"Because Snoke was Plagueis's apprentice, as well," Ren confessed. "Snoke went into hiding after Darth Sidious defeated Plagueis. That was years before Palpatine made any attempt at gaining power in the Senate. Snoke waited decades for Sidious to fail before making his own attempt at power." Luke nodded as he processed Ren's statement.

"But how do you explain Maul's survival?" he asked.

"You told me long ago about how Obi-Wan Kenobi initially believed Anakin Skywalker to be dead after their battle on Mustafar. But Sidious saved him from death. It would be foolish to presume that Anakin was the only first and only one to be resurrected by Sidious." Ren looked back and forth at Rey and Luke to affirm his logic.

"But why would he go into hiding?" Rey asked. "If Sidious went to the trouble to save Maul, and Sidious gained power, why would Maul leave him?"

Ren continued to skim the pages again, looking for anything else that would help them. "San Tekka writes about the Clone Wars, about his marriage to a politician from Alderaan—" A few moments passed until he reached another vital piece of information. "Here San Tekka talks about Obi-Wan and Anakin Skywalker defeating a Sith Lord by the name of Count Dooku while rescuing Senator Palpatine." Luke nodded and moved to sit on a chair around the table.

"My father told me long ago that Palpatine—Darth Sidious—urged him to kill Count Dooku. It was an act that pulled him farther into the dark side," Luke said, deep in thought. "It's highly likely that Maul didn't trust Palpatine after that."

"Maul must have known he was only a pawn," Rey remarked. "That's why he disappeared."

"What else does it say?" Luke asked. Ren continued reading.

"Obi-Wan appeared to have confided in Lor San Tekka about his romantic relationship with a Coruscanti woman. Tekka also notes that his wife gave birth to a son…" Ren stated. "But then Palpatine gained emergency powers and executed Order 66. However, San Tekka was able to meet with Obi-Wan before he went into exile."

"Then what?" Rey asked, anxious to learn more.

"Obi-Wan urged San Tekka to renounce alliance to the Jedi Order and continue his research in Coruscant. He also refused to tell San Tekka where he was hiding. Which frustrated San Tekka because it seems as if Obi-Wan didn't know he was going to be a father before he left. Kenobi had a daughter," Ren stated.

"My mother," Rey whispered. "Does he say anything else about her?" Ren continued reading and shook his head.

"No." Rey's heart sunk, disappointed she wouldn't learn anything else about her family. Ren started to pursue the journal once again.

"San Tekka returned to Alderaan a few times to consult with the royal family. It appears as if he met my mother, as well. His entries grow farther and farther apart—until the destruction of Alderaan. The loss of their home planet prompted his son to leave Coruscant and join the Rebellion, shortly after the destruction of the Death Star."

"Interesting. I don't remember knowing a San Tekka," Luke mentioned.

"San Tekka continued to do research in Coruscant until the Empire was defeated. His son eventually returned to Coruscant with a girl he married shortly after the Battle of Jakku…and it seems if…" Ren flipped a few pages, skipping past a few irrelevant pages, "…it seems as if the woman his son married was Kenobi's daughter."

"That means…" Rey started to say, but soon her throat constricted and she found it difficult to speak. The small voice in the Force that she had heard since she walked in the door subtly confirmed what she suspected. Lor San Tekka's son was her father.

Both Luke and Ren were looking at her, waiting for her to speak. They had made the connection, as well.

"But why—" she had to fight back the emotion building up behind her voice, "why did they leave me? Does he write anything about that?" A few moments of silence passed as Ren skimmed the journal. When he looked up, he inhaled deeply, trying to gain the strength to be the one to tell her what happened next. "It appears as if everything is fine until one day—"

"It appears as if everything is fine until one day—"

"—one day, what?" Rey questioned, trying to withhold emotion from her voice. It took every piece of strength she had to not yell in frustration.

"You and your parents just disappeared. After a few years without any word, San Tekka presumed you to be dead. Eventually, your grandmother died from despair. Your other grandmother had passed, as well." Rey felt a sudden flood of emotion overwhelm her.

She was finally able to believe Maz's words—her entire family was gone. Rey was the only one left.

"Is that all?" Luke asked, hoping for Rey's sake that there was more—something that would give her the closure she needed.

"Not quite," Ren stated. "San Tekka dedicated himself to his research again. Princess Leia had urged him before his family's disappearance to rerecord the history of Alderaan…" Ren looked up from the book. "I feel as if I recall that meeting."

"Yes—I was also there when the Princess met with him," Threepio exclaimed, the silent listener jumping at the opportunity to contribute positively to the conversation. "General Organa invited Lor San Tekka to our abode on Coruscant to discuss the recording of Alderaan's history. During the visit, he inquired about the origin of Ben's name, to which Princess Leia mentioned they named their child after the Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi. There was quite a look of intrigue on the scholar's face and he asked about how they had come to learn that name...though I must confess, I didn't think much of it then."

"Did she mention Kenobi had been on Tatooine?" Luke asked.

"Indeed, she did," Threepio affirmed.

"That's what led him here," Luke stated. "It's all starting to make sense."

"No, it's not," Rey said, frustrated. "How did my parents die? Why did they leave me on Jakku?"

"This is interesting," Ren said in reply, "Listen to his final entries: ' _Here in my old friend's Obi-Wan's home, I sense his presence and the presence of the Force. I never considered myself to be knowledgeable in the Force, even though I felt it urging me further to finish writing the history of Alderaan and urging me to journey to Tatooine after all these years. But it may have just made the journey because I have no wife and no family. And with the recent tragedy that has befallen the last remaining royalty of Alderaan and Obi-Wan's last apprentice, Luke Skywalker, I find that I have both the time and the desire to reconnect with the past and study the Jedi once more._

 _'I do not know what I exactly expected to find upon my arrival here. I discovered that Kenobi had taken the old Jedi archives about Darth Maul, but their memories have been erased. All that remains of interest are old star charts, maps to planets the Jedi had considered important. I am starting to believe that the Force sent me here to retrieve the Jedi star charts._ ' That explains how he obtained the map to Ach-To," Ren commented.

"Keep reading," Rey requested, not interested in the story of the maps.

Ren cleared his throat and continuing to read: " _Something fascinating happened last night. I had a dream, a vision I imagine was quite similar to the nightmares Obi-Wan experienced. In the dream I saw a young girl—I knew immediately she was my granddaughter. I noticed a desert and an abandoned Imperial AT-AT walker. It was the planet my son had fought on years ago—Jakku._

 _"I saw my son and daughter-in-law leaving my grandchild. They didn't want to, but something was compelling them to abandon her. They were being manipulated through the Force. Since they had no knowledge of the Force or any training, they could not resist its power. Their manipulator then called them to him and killed them. I finally saw his face through the eyes of my dying son. Their captor was disturbingly reminiscent of the Zabrak Obi-Wan had described to me long ago. It was Maul._

 _Now I see why the records on Maul were erased. He had been waiting in the darkness for years, trying to find Kenobi, following my family. He wanted to extract revenge upon Obi-Wan and gain power by making my granddaughter his apprentice. Maul has carefully covered his steps. And he would have succeeded, had this vision of the Force not come to me._

 _I have much sorrow, but I also have hope now that I know a member of my family lives. The girl is strong in the Force, but she is also a child of the darkness, raised by Maul. I believe he is waiting until she is older and more desperate to retrieve her. After all, the Sith believe the strongest apprentices start their journeys in the light._

 _If I rescue Rey, I have no doubt Maul will find us. Besides, I am growing old, and I am weak. I feel as if it is not my destiny to rescue her. My final task is to protect these maps from falling into the hands of the wrong people, though I do not know why they are of importance yet._

 _So I have decided to compromise. I will leave for Jakku tomorrow with the maps and watch over the girl from afar. Only when Maul returns for her will I abandon my vigil. I only hope the First Order will have been defeated so the girl can train under Luke Skywalker then. I will leave this journal here. I believe that one day, the Force will guide someone to it._ '" Ren closed the journal slowly.

Rey thought about the string of coincidences. If the Force hadn't led San Tekka to Jakku with the star charts, Rey wouldn't have found BB-8. If she hadn't found BB-8, she would have never left the planet, which meant Maul would have found her and she would likely have become his apprentice.

Rey realized now that it was only by chance that she was a Jedi, not a Sith. She thought back to what Maul had told her when she was on Coruscant. _I have seen your eyes before._ So he hadn't known what exactly had happened to her after the she left Jakku; he must have lost her after the attacks. After he presumed her dead, he must have waited until the First Order was defeated before focusing on either capturing the promising apprentice of Luke Skywalker or Kylo Ren. Maul had no way of knowing for certain the girl he had left on Jakku had survived, or that _she_ was the apprentice of Luke Skywalker, until their encounter on Coruscant, when he looked in her knew she would have succumbed to Maul's promises of power and freedom. She would have been desperate at that point. Rey wondered if Maul had been controlling Unkar Plutt, urging him to start giving her less and less food to make her more vulnerable to the dark side.

Rey was disturbed by the realization that at one point in her life, she would have succumbed to Maul's promises of power and freedom. She had been desperate. She wondered if Maul's watched over her through Unkar Plutt. Maul must have been urging Plutt to start giving her less and less food to make her more vulnerable to the dark fate had been controlled for nearly her entire life, and she hadn't even known it.

She was being raised to become an apprentice of the dark side and she hadn't even realized it.

"What good does this journal do us?" Ren asked, interrupting Rey's thoughts. "It doesn't solve our current problem with Maul."

"No. It tells us exactly we need to know," Rey stated. Both Luke and Ren looked over at her, but she refused to look at either of them. Tears began to fall down her face, and she was started shaking. "Maul wanted an apprentice. He wanted me, then he tried to convince Kylo to join him when we were on Coruscant. But Maul still didn't stop trying to get us to turn to the dark side. That's why he manipulated us while we were on the _Millennium Falcon_."

"So what do you think we should do?" Luke asked, knowing full well what Rey was about to say, but hoping she wouldn't say it. Rey took a deep breath and steadied her voice before speaking.

"I believe that the only way we can defeat him is if I join him."

 **Here it is! Chapter nine! It took me _much_ more time to write than I thought, and it was much more difficult to write than I had anticipated. That, on top of a busy school schedule, is why I've been a little bit behind on updating. Anyway, I hope you liked it! Thank you so much for reading my story. Also, a special thank you if you've left a review! It's so awesome to receive feedback and hear what you think of my story.**


	10. Chapter 10

"Absolutely not," Kylo Ren commanded, irritation lacing his voice. It was the most anger he had expressed since their initial escape from Yavin 4 on the _Millennium Falcon._ Rey glared at him.

" _Excuse me_ ," she scoffed, "I don't think you have a say in this matter."

"It's _dangerous_ ," Ren countered.

"I'm not afraid. It's what I must do—"

"—there are other ways," Ren said, trying to subdue his frustration. "We could infiltrate the base…locate him…all three of us…we'll attack him together."

"He's no doubt expecting that," Rey said, shaking her head.

"Then I'll go," Ren offered. "He wanted me to become his apprentice. He said so on Coruscant. I know the dark side. I can fight against it."

"But if you've already refused his offer he'd be suspicious," Luke said, finally able to get a word in.

"And you're a prisoner," Rey commented. "You'll be in captivity again the minute we return to the Resistance."

"I haven't forgotten." Ren looked away from her, clenching his jaw in frustration, doing everything within his power to keep himself from exploding in anger. The thought of her risking her life like this sickened him.

"You have to understand," Rey said, trying to reason with him. She sensed him struggling against anger. "I have to do this. Maul's taken so much from me."

"This can't just be about revenge, Rey," Luke added. "If you act out of anger—"

"Master," Rey said, turning to look at Luke, "this is about me proving to myself that I'm not a product of the dark side. That it won't control me again."

"Rey, you _could get hurt_ ," Ren spat. "You could…" He couldn't say it. Even the thought of her possibly dying pained him.

"And suddenly you care about what happens to me?" Rey asked, feeling frustration boil within her against her better judgment.

"You _know_ I care," he sputtered, words of empathy still feeling foreign to him, feeling awkward. Luke's eyes grew wide in realization. Ren scrambled to clarify his statement. "If I'd let Snoke kill you—if _I_ had killed you—it would have been the end of the Jedi Order—"

"What you did made a difference, Ben. I'm not denying it," Rey said, staring at him.

"Then you know I can help—"

"What are you talking about?" Luke interjected. Rey looked over at her master.

"Maul revealed that Ben helped me defeat Snoke."

"Is that true?" Luke asked, looking at Ren.

His nephew remained silent. Luke couldn't believe what he was hearing; he knew his nephew had the capacity for light—he had seen it in him before, and certainly saw it in him now—but he didn't know the change had occurred long before his imprisonment.

"If I die, there'll still be hope for the Jedi," Ren said after a few moments of contemplation. "If Rey becomes his apprentice—and if she…if she isn't able to succeed, everything's gone. And if I don't die fighting Maul, you can kill me afterward." Ren wanted to die knowing he did something useful, something of lasting power.

"Ben, you have to understand…this isn't about what's safe. This is my destiny." Rey's eyes searched his _._ "It was never my destiny to defeat Snoke—that was _yours_. And now you're free from the dark side. This is the only way I can defeat what has controlled me my entire life."

Ren finally understood. He still wasn't happy about the idea, but he understood. But the understanding was laced with bitterness; she had said it: _you're free from the dark side._ How he _wished_ she hadn't said it. Luke decided to add to Rey's statement.

"The Force led us here. It wanted us to find the solution in Lor San Tekka's journal. If Rey is meant to become Maul's apprentice, it'd be foolish to try anything else."

"So what do we do next?" Rey said.

"We'll meet up with Rebellion. You go to the planet I discovered and turn yourself in. When you're ready, turn on him. But it has to happen before he decides to launch an attack on another Resistance base," Luke said.

Suddenly, Ren felt the strong urge to destroy. He knew if he stayed in the hut, he wouldn't be able to control his anger.

"Excuse me," Ren stuttered, standing up and storming outside, feeling the need to put as much distance between them as possible. He couldn't be near Rey anymore. He felt so utterly helpless, so ashamed for letting this chance mission he'd gone on momentarily erase the reality that there was no place for him in the future of the galaxy.

Rey looked over at her master, confused. She moved to follow him.

"Stay here," Luke instructed, standing up. "I think it's best if I talk to him." Rey nodded and sat back down, trying to reason through everything that had just happened.

Ren walked until he was far enough away to feel his anger subsiding and his breaths slowing. He stopped abruptly and just stood there, watching the sky change from burnt orange to purple as the suns sink lower and lower in the sky.

Moments later, Ren heard footsteps. The nephew looked over his shoulder at his uncle, but he didn't say a word. Luke trudged through the sand and moved to stand next to Ren.

"It's strange," Luke said. "When I was a boy, all I wanted to do was leave, but now…sometimes I wish I could go back to the days before it all happened and just be able to have innocent hope again. You get to be my age and suddenly you realize that your best adventures are behind you. You realize it's childish to dream of peace in the galaxy."

"I never knew the hope you speak of," Ren remarked, staring at the sandy ground beneath him. "I suppose the dark side had always controlled me."

"It's because I expected too much from you," Luke admitted, a tear forming in his eye. "But you were only a child."

"There's no one to blame for who I am," Ren said. "There was nothing you or my mother and father could have done. Snoke had been speaking to me, guiding me, my entire life." Ben admitted. His memories began to haunt him once again. "When I—when I killed my father I thought I'd be free from the voice that was tempting me. By then I realized the voice controlling me didn't belong to the light—it belonged to Snoke. In that moment, I wasn't Kylo Ren. I found Ben Solo again. But it was too late."

"It's never too late," Luke said. "Even Anakin turned back to the light before he died."

"Only the Skywalkers know the story of his redemption. The galaxy still remembers him as a villain. A tyrant." Ren said. "Though I no longer belong to the dark side, it doesn't make a difference. When I die, I'll die a monster."

"You underestimate the power you have," Luke said. "When, generations from now, the galaxy faces a new threat, there'll be another young Jedi tempted towards the dark side. It'll be your voice, your presence in the Force reminding them that it's never too late to turn back to the light. Your story—and Vader's—will be the ones that remind the future generations of Jedi that light prevails even in the darkest places." Ren thought about what Luke implied. Luke assumed they would succeed in rebuilding the Jedi Order. And from this new order, there would be many generations of Jedi.

And Rey would be the first. She would be the one telling the story of how Ben Solo returned. She would tell her Padawans how Kylo Ren betrayed his master and conquered the dark side. The thought of her telling his story long after he was gone anguished him. He would be gone, but somehow they would still be connected.

"What good is it if Rey dies as Maul's apprentice?" Ren asked, turning his attention back to their current situation. "She's the only hope, isn't she?"

"As far as I know, yes. But Rey's strong in the Force," Luke replied. "And because she is, she has to fulfill her destiny as a Jedi. If she evades it, the dark side will only seduce her in the end."

"But if I kill Maul, and if I die shortly after, there won't be any Sith left in the galaxy. The dark side will be eradicated," Ren argued, trying to disprove his uncle's logic.

"Ben, your sacrifice would turn her to the dark side," Luke stated.

"No," Ren said in disbelief. "I'm going to die either way. Killing Maul is a noble and memorable act. It would only demonstrate how much more powerful the light is."

Luke didn't reply to his nephew's words immediately. After a few short moments of silent contemplation, of watching the sky become completely covered in pink and purple light, Luke decided to respond to Ren's argument.

"If you search your feelings, I believe you will find the answer you seek." With those final words, Luke turned to walk back to the hut, leaving his nephew alone to contemplate what he had just revealed.

 **Thanks for reading my story :) I'm so appreciative that you've taken the time to read this far! Also, thanks for the follows and reviews. Let me know what you think of chapter ten!**


	11. Chapter 11

"Were you able to reason with Ben?" Rey asked as Luke entered the hut. Luke shrugged as he took a seat at the table.

"I think so. He needs a few moments to think it over," Luke said. Rey hated that he was so vague; she wanted to pressure him to say more, but she knew it wasn't worth the fight. Luke looked over at Rey, who was staring blankly at the wall. "Is something bothering you?"

"No," she quickly replied, snapping her eyes back to attention. She knew her words wouldn't stop Luke from realizing what she was really feeling—the Force acted that way. There was no privacy when someone was able to sense the world around you.

"Are you worried about the plan?" Luke asked. The question surprised Rey. To be honest, the last thing on her mind was her mission to become Maul's apprentice.

"I suppose it must be," she replied, looking away again.

"Don't let the fear of what's to come control you," Luke said. "The Resistance will prevail."

Rey wished she could say that _that_ was what was bothering her, but it wasn't. She wasn't worried about the future of the galaxy or the future of the Resistance or even the Jedi. All she could think about was how tragic it was that the man she'd decided to save on Yavin 4 was soon going to be back where he was a few days ago—sitting in a prison cell, awaiting punishment.

It was such a _stupid_ thing to be thinking about.

 _He deserves it_ , she reasoned. Ben Solo…Kylo Ren…it didn't matter what he called himself now or who he thought he was. Someone had joined the First Order, had murdered, had killed. Recent events—the thing with Snoke, the thing with Maul, the thing on the _Falcon_ —none of it changed what he had done.

She felt comfortable with her reasoning until she thought back to the day they'd escaped Yavin 4. Before she'd even known Ren had changed sides, she'd willingly saved him.

She'd hurt a member of the Resistance for him. Without hesitation.

 _I did it for General Organa,_ she thought. _I did it for justice._ But Rey knew her actions had little to do with concern for General Organa or a fair trial. After all, she could have killed Ren on Felucia. No one would have blamed her if she'd taken his life in that moment. It would have been fair. Maul had even admitted that Ren didn't put up a fight at all. Still, she'd consciously spared him. She'd been half-heartedly fighting him. The realization made her nauseous.

So it was empathy, then. She understood him.

Rey decided that she needed to talk to him before tomorrow. She needed closure, some kind of affirmation that she had done the right thing when she had decided to save his life, and that she was doing the right thing now.

But then she asked herself why what he thought even mattered to her.

Against her better judgment, she used the Force to reach out and check into Kylo Ren's feelings. It was still there, the strange feeling she'd sensed earlier in him when they left Mos Eisley. But instead of it being confusing, it felt terrifying; it was almost as if she sensed the emotion growing within herself.

A few more moments passed. Rey kept debating whether or not it would be worth it to go speak with him, or if she should just ignore her frustration and leave him alone. But curiosity won, just like it always did.

"I'm going to talk to him," Rey declared, quickly standing up out of her chair. She had expected Luke to react, but he didn't say a word.

Ren was pulled from his thoughts when he heard the door of Kenobi's hut hiss open. He was surprised to see Rey.

"We need to talk," she stated as she approached him. Light had completely disappeared from the sky, but the illumination from the Tatooine moons provided enough light for them to just barely see each other.

"I've come to terms with your decision, if that's what you're asking," Ren stated, still not turning to look at her. He wanted to avoid conflict, if possible. Fighting wouldn't solve anything.

"No, it's not," Rey said. She paused before continuing, wondering if she should reconsider her actions. But multiple questions had been irking her ever since they'd left Coruscant, and there was no use trying to avoid them anymore. "It doesn't make sense that you gave up on the First Order, or that you turned on Snoke or…" She was going to say more, but her throat closed up. She realized that she was afraid of what his answer would be.

Ren looked at her. He wasn't expecting the conversation to take this turn.

"Does there have to be a reason?" he asked, hoping to defer any kind of confession. Rey was silent. She gritted her teeth as she considered bringing up more of the thoughts gnawing at her. He didn't need to know everything; it wouldn't change anything. Not now. But he understood the dark side, and maybe that knowledge would help her understand what she had done for him.

"I keep asking myself why I saved you on Yavin 4," she started, looking away from him, regretting her words as she said them. "I attacked a member of the Resistance who was threatening you. Back before I knew anything about you. I don't know why I did it. I could have taken his blaster or something but I didn't. I don't even know if he _survived_ and…" she glanced at Ren for any kind of reaction, but he remained stoic, "…and I've been wondering why I did that for you and I just don't know. He thought he was doing the right thing. He didn't deserve it, but you—"

She didn't have to finish her sentence.

Ren didn't want to have this conversation with her. Not now, not ever.

"You don't have to remind me of what I deserve," he stated coldly. The familiar feeling of anger welled inside of him. It required conscious effort, but he was able to mostly conceal his frustration.

Rey hated that she felt sorry for him and that she wanted him to be free. He wouldn't answer her question, at least not directly, so she decided to continue.

"Why haven't you tried to run?" Rey asked.

"Maybe I wanted to help." Rey shook her head in disbelief. She sensed his uneasiness and was upset that he was so vague. She didn't know what she wanted to get out of talking to him, but she knew this wasn't it.

She thought he was past the point of being cold and rude towards her; they'd certainly been through enough. And if it wasn't her decision to be Maul's apprentice that was bothering him, then what _was_ it?

Then she thought back to what Maul had said. She'd ignored it, simply because she didn't want to think about what it implied. She thought it could disappear. But it hadn't.

So Rey spontaneously decided to take a chance and ask. She had nothing to lose.

"Is it because," she started, breaking the silence and inhaling deeply as she felt her stomach tighten in nerves, "is it because that you feel… _that_ way about me?" She expected a weight to be lifted off her chest, but instead it pressed against her like a heavy weight. She cringed at the awkwardness of her question.

Ren lost the ability to breathe. He felt more vulnerable than he'd ever felt before. He finally turned to look at her, but he couldn't think of a single word to say.

"No, don't answer that," Rey said after the awkward silence, panic subtly lacing her voice. "Please. Forget I said anything." Rey turned to go inside. She hadn't made it one step when Ren grabbed her hand.

"Why do you think that?" he asked. "Tell me." Rey felt her breaths shorten as she convinced herself to look at him. Why had she hoped he would stop her from going back inside? He stared at her, his eyes looking frantically back and forth from hers. She removed her wrist from his grasp.

"It doesn't matter," she said while simultaneously wishing he would encourage her to speak more. She was both terrified and curious to see how he'd react.

"Please," he begged.

Rey thought about what to say, but she wasn't sure she wanted to say anything. There was no easy way to say it. She shifted her eyes to the scar. Wherever happened to him, he would have the scar. _Her_ scar.

She was terrified of what she was feeling. But she found her confidence, found her ability to objectively state the facts.

"Maul mentioned it and I thought…" Rey didn't finish her thought. "And this entire time you've trusted me. You've tried to help me. And you didn't want me to join Maul." She realized the "facts" sounded ridiculous once she said them out loud. They didn't imply that he felt any kind of way about her at all. The only real confirmation she had was the feeling gnawing at her, the odd sense the Force kept conveying to her.

He still didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry," she said. She wanted to go back inside, but she knew leaving would be the only thing worse than staying. "I only asked because—"

She didn't need to say the words; he knew. It was the reason why she'd asked him why she'd protected him. Why she had to know why he left, why he hadn't run away.

"Because you feel it, too," Ren whispered, speaking her thoughts. His response sent shockwaves through her. There was no denying that she was feeling something anymore. Or that the idea of him being away from her was painful. Or that she wasn't ready to say goodbye.

Without warning, he shortened the distance between them. Rey didn't back away. She looked up at him in equal parts fear and anticipation. A piece of her started to hope that he'd kiss her.

But in the next moment, he backed away and snapped his attention to the distant desert landscape.

"This doesn't change anything," Ren stated, his words cutting her like a knife. His sudden bitterness was unexpected. She felt like a fool. This had been a mistake. Nothing had come out of talking to him, just like she'd expected.

"You're right. It doesn't matter," Rey agreed. She'd appeared indifferent. But she quickly ducked her eyes in embarrassment and without hesitation retreated to the hut, trying to prevent her emotions from overwhelming her.

He didn't stop her this time.

 **Thank you so much if you're still reading this! I've been absolutely awful at keeping up with writing. I've had a lot going on in the past few weeks, and I had absolutely no time or energy to write. Finals are over, though, so I'll be back to publishing regularly. Thank you so much again, and please let me know what you think of this chapter!**


	12. Chapter 12

"Finally," Finn said as Luke, Rey, Ren, and Threepio walked up the ramp of the _Millennium Falcon_. "Thought something might have happened to you guys."

"I forgot how long it takes to get anywhere on this planet," Luke laughed, looking at Poe and Finn. He brushed the excess sand off his clothes as the ramp closed behind them. "Did you hear anything from the Resistance?"

"Yeah. I was able to make contact with Jess Pava," Poe said. "She reported that the base on Endor is fully functional and we're expected to report there immediately. We'll be there in about twenty-four hours. Maybe less. General Organa is coming up with a plan of action as we speak. I told Jess you'll fill Leia in on what's happened when we get there."

"Perfect," Luke said. He was looking forward to seeing his sister again.

"All right, well, I guess Chewie and I'll get the _Falcon_ off the ground," Poe said before he retreated to the cockpit. BB-8 followed diligently behind him and Luke trailed the both of them.

"You want to tell me what you've got planned next?" Finn asked, looking at Rey but also glancing at Ren, who appeared to be indifferent to the suggestion. Rey shrugged.

"I suppose I must," she said, dreading telling her friend what kind of position she was putting herself in. She knew he'd understand, but she also knew how protective Finn was.

Without a word, Ren left the corridor and went off in the direction of the crew quarters. When he left, Rey finally felt like she could breathe easy.

"What's up with him, acting weirder than normal?" Finn asked. "Did you guys fight again?"

"It…it doesn't matter," Rey replied, shifting uncomfortably.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Maybe later. But not now." Rey and Finn made their way to the main hold and sat around the dejarik table. Within moments, she told him everything they'd discovered and everything they'd planned.

"I can't lie, Rey, I wish there was another way." Finn picked at his fingernails, anxious as to what was going to come. "But I understand why you want to do this."

"Thanks," Rey said softly, grateful for Finn's support.

"So are you going to leave as soon as you get to Endor, then?" Finn asked.

"I need to talk to Luke about it," she replied, "but in all likelihood, yes." Finn sighed in frustration.

"Look…Rey, I trust this is going to work out and everything's going to be fine, but I can't guarantee that I won't be terrified the entire time you're gone." Finn reached over and grabbed her hands. "Rey, look at me. Promise me you'll make it back."

"Finn, really…"

" _Promise_ ," Finn demanded.

"I promise," she sighed, trying to hide the fact that she was terrified at how Finn was acting.

"Awesome. Just remember how great everything's going to be once this is done. No First Order. No whatever this is. Just freedom and peace."

 _Now it's just a matter of getting past this_ , Rey thought.

* * *

Ren laid on the bunk, staring up at the ceiling. In only a few hours, he'd be behind bars, doing the exact same thing. He should try to relish the little freedom he had left, maybe walk around the ship and look at some of the things that his father had left behind.

He closed his eyes, trying desperately to fall asleep so he could forget, but the conversation he had with Rey played over and over again in his mind.

He knew he made the right decision. The less Rey had to think about when she joined Maul, the better. Maul didn't need to see her feelings for him; it'd just be leverage against her. And besides, once all was said and done, Ren's fate would probably be decided upon before she even returned. She didn't need to worry or think about his trial.

Rey would move on; he had no doubt of that. In a matter of years, she'd remember him only as her enemy. Besides, even if he hadn't been facing death, she wouldn't have chosen him in the end. Love and forgiveness were two separate things, after all.

Now Ren was tasked with coming to terms with reality again. Considering his impending trial and death, he decided one thing was absolutely necessary: he needed to speak to Leia again.

Luke entered the doorway, interrupting Ren from his thought.

"I need to speak with you," Luke said, a hint of demand in his voice. Ren swung his legs over the edge of the cot. "I need to know what you said to Rey last night." Ren narrowed his eyes at his uncle.

"I told her I'd come to terms with her decision. That was it," Ren lied, hoping it would satisfy his uncle. It didn't.

"Rey wouldn't talk to me at after she came inside," Luke said, doubting Ren's response. "She hardly said anything this morning."

"You still don't trust me," Ren remarked. There was a long pause.

"I'm trying to," Luke said. "Tell me, did you tell Rey about your feelings?"

"What do you mean?" Ren asked, suddenly dreading the turn this conversation had taken. Luke carefully formulated how to say what he needed to say without sounding uncomfortable.

"There's a reason why the Jedi Order discouraged love."

"Don't worry about your precious apprentice," Ren said, unable to resist putting bitterness into his tone. "It won't be a problem."

Luke nodded. "Then everything's working the way it should." The less complicated the situation was, the better.

Ren stared at his uncle.

"I don't think you realize that this isn't about me. What _matters_ is Rey's anger. I'd worry more about her motives for this mission then this… _speculation_." Luke was visibly frustrated; though many things had changed, his nephew still questioned his ability to be a good master.

"I'm going to speak with her before she leaves," Luke said, defending himself and avoiding any more conflict with Ren. "But she's strong." Though Luke spoke confidently, he was no stranger to being tempted by the dark side; after all, his motives for facing Darth Vader were altruistic at first. Then it became personal. And that was when he thought about joining his father.

He knew Ren was annoyed that he was so protective. But his nephew didn't understand how terrifying it was to lose an apprentice to the dark side, and how terrifying the idea that Rey could turn was to him. He couldn't fail again.

But Luke assured himself that he was overthinking; she'd find Maul, defeat him, and that would be it.

* * *

The first twelve hours of their travel passed slowly. Rey had spent a decent amount of time playing dejarik with Chewie and listening to C-3PO relate old tales to her and Luke and Finn at first, but when Kylo Ren reappeared back from the crew quarters, she took the opportunity to make an excuse to visit the cockpit and relieve Poe from his station to rest. No one _had_ to be operating the flight controls at all times, but Rey, like Poe, enjoyed looking out of the window into the wilds of open space. And she liked being reassured that everything with the _Millennium Falcon_ was running smoothly.

Six hours later, Poe reappeared.

"I can take over if you want," Poe offered.

"Thanks," Rey said, standing up from the chair. "I probably should." There would be plenty to deal with once they arrived at Endor, and it wouldn't help anything if she was exhausted. As it were, she hardly slept the night before.

But even though the crew quarters were quiet and empty, she couldn't fall asleep. She laid with her eyes shut for half an hour before she decided to retreat to the engineering bay.

Every now and then, Rey made a point to thoroughly examine the engine and other components of the ship to be sure everything was running well. She felt as if it was her responsibility to take excellent care of the _Falcon_ for Han Solo, because she liked to think that, of all the people in the galaxy, he would have wanted her to have it and would have trusted her to take care of it.

As always, everything was running smoothly. Chewie and Threepio had done an excellent job at doing the repairs and upgrades she'd suggested back on Yavin 4.

The realization that she likely couldn't take her ship with her when she left saddened her. The ship was too easy to trace, and besides, she couldn't ensure that Maul wouldn't want it destroyed. Still, it was hard to part with it.

The prospect of facing her former captor once again made her feel uneasy, and she started to doubt the confidence she'd had back on Tatooine. Maul's yellow eyes, the unnatural, disturbing appearance of being half machine, his ability to control people through the Force…

Maybe Ren had been right. Maybe her plan was a mistake.

Rey forced her thoughts to the back of her mind and grabbed a scrub brush and the bucket of old, rusted parts that had been replaced by the new ones. Working quickly and efficiently, she wiped the dirt and decay off of them. Once she was done, she held the piece up to the light, examining the metal and the wiring. They'd need a little bit more fine tuning, but after she was done fixing them, she was certain they'd be functional. Not as good as new, but good enough to use just in case they were needed. Chewie would likely look after the _Falcon_ for her while she was away, and she wanted to be sure everything was in order if she wasn't there to help.

She'd have no communication with anyone when she was with Maul. If she was going to be convincing, she'd have to come up with a story, something to convince Maul that she wasn't lying.

But she'd get through it. Like Luke said, the Resistance would prevail. The Jedi would prevail.

And after that…

After that, what would happen?

BB-8's chattering jolted her from her thoughts.

"Beebeeate!" she smiled, "You scared me!"

The droid beeped gleefully.

"We're nearly there?" Rey was shocked. Time had passed quickly while she was focused on her work. "I'll clean up." BB-8 hummed and roll away. Rey quickly finished placing the parts back where she'd found them.

Upon exiting the engineering bay, she encountered Luke and Ren in the corridor.

"There you are," Luke said. "When we land, take Ben to his cell. We'll discuss our next course of action after that." The _Falcon_ shifted as it dropped out of lightspeed. Both Ben and Rey avoided looking at each other at first, but when Rey noticed that Ben's hands were bound, she stole a look. His eyes were cold again, filled with the familiar indifference and subtle anger and shame.

They made their way towards the ramp as the ship descended slowly. The engine hissed when it made contact with the ground.

"Rey," Ren said, looking down at her. She looked up at him immediately. He was about to say something more when the ramp opened. Without hesitating, she grabbed his right arm with her left hand. In her opposite hand, she held his grandfather's lightsaber, and her thumb rested on top of the button, ready to ignite it.

 _Things have returned to the way they are supposed to be_ , Ren thought, as they exited the _Falcon_ and he was met with the hateful glares and muffled whispers of the Resistance once again.

 **Thanks for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

Ren didn't need to hear the whispers of the Resistance to know he wasn't welcomed. The Force told him all he needed to know; he felt nothing but hatred, but even worse, fear.

Rey stood beside him, not looking at him. Her disgust was quite apparent to him. And her embarrassment. She steadied herself and tightened her grip on his arm, even though he didn't make any effort to escape.

 _Tell me_ , he wanted to ask. _Tell me what's bothering you._ But he didn't say a word. Through the sea of confused, hurt, angry faces he saw the one face that resembled his.

Leia was the first to approach the two. She glanced at Rey, smiled momentarily, and snapped her attention back to her son.

"You've finally made it." Leia looked at Rey. Behind them, Luke, Chewie, Threepio, Poe, and Finn filed out. "I wish I could welcome you with better circumstances. We lost many good fighters back on Yavin 4. But Jess told me that you have information about our enemy."

"Yes," Rey said, finally loosening up on her grip on his arm. She slowly removed her finger from the button of the lightsaber. Leia looked at Ren from the corner of her eye but didn't address him.

"We'll get to that as soon as possible. For now, I suppose it's best if you take Ben to the cell. Meet me after you're done."

* * *

Ren entered the prison cell without protest, and Rey quickly shut the door behind him. Without making eye contact, she activated the lock. The prison system was archaic, just like the one back on Yavin 4, and a Resistance guard stood in the doorway, making sure he wouldn't try to escape.

She was about to turn her back and leave when he said her name.

"Rey." On impulse, she looked at him. There was no demand in his voice; only subtle desperation. Rey felt her heart slamming against her chest, and she was reminded once again that she was losing him.

He didn't need to say anything else for her to understand. She felt again his fear, his regret.

She knew what he was trying to do. He was going to say goodbye. But she wasn't going to say it. And she wouldn't allow him to say it, either.

"We'll see each other again," Rey whispered just loud enough for him to hear, her voice trembling. She didn't believe her own words, and she knew he could sense the doubt in her voice. But before he could respond, she pulled her eyes away from his and retreated out of the room.

* * *

"She's just a kid, Luke. You're just going to let her walk into a situation where she could get seduced by the dark side? You know what happens to the galaxy if she turns?" Leia looked sternly at Luke while she sat in her chair. The whole plan seemed way too risky. She couldn't hand Rey over to a highly trained Sith and feel like she was making the right decision. The girl was hardly a Jedi.

"It's something I did," Luke argued, recalling his unadvised journey to Bespin to face Darth Vader.

"And I suppose Ben did too, huh?" Leia had sat in her chair looking at Luke.

"Look, I had no idea that some Sith was clouding Ben's judgment. How was I to know?"

"I don't know… _use the Force_?" It was not sufficient to describe the situation as just uncomfortable.  
"The dark side clouded what I could see and you knew it. You should have known too." The door hissed open, distracting them from their argument. Rey walked in the door, and they immediately made efforts to compose themselves.

"We were just discussing your plan," Leia began, making a conscious effort to leave worry out of her words. "Listen. If you feel like this is what you need to do, then do it. I know we could use all the help we can get, especially if this Sith is as Luke tells me he is." _He's powerful all right_ , Rey thought, thinking back to his manipulation of her family.

"What other choice do I have?" Rey said, trying to sound lighthearted but instead appearing unconfident. Leia looked at Luke nervously before answering Rey's rhetorical question.

"You're not a member of the Resistance, Rey. You don't have to go through with this if you don't want to." Leia restrained herself from telling Rey the importance of this mission. She didn't tell her how many people were killed and how many fighters were destroyed because she knew she didn't need the pressure. She didn't need to know that the already battered Resistance was fearing their next attack. Leia was skilled at pretending everything was fine when she knew that one more attack like the one on Yavin 4 would send the Resistance to the grave. The last thing she needed was for her to turn against them.

 _Trust her_. She sensed her brother communicating with her through the Force.

 _I trusted Ben,_ she replied. _And that trust ruined everything._

 _It won't happen again,_ Luke thought. _I promise._

"I want to help," Rey said. "I want to do this. I can do this. I'm certain of it."

"Then you have my approval," Leia stated, inwardly hoping her brother's confidence in his apprentice wasn't false. "I'm planning on sending a few spies to do some more intel on the planet after you get there. Luke told me it's some planet in the Outer Rim…I believe it's Tocloria. It didn't show up in records initially because it was forgotten. Decades before the Empire even existed, the planet's resources were exhausted by the Republic and it was abandoned. You can wait until we know more if you'd like."

"No," Rey assured, "I'll leave tomorrow."

* * *

Later that evening, Rey decided to join Jess, Finn, Poe, and Snap for a meal in the mess hall after meeting with Leia and Luke.

"I heard you had to babysit Ren for a few days. I don't envy you one bit," Jess remarked as Rey sat down next to her. Rey shrugged as she bit into a piece of bread. She decided that she wasn't going to say a word about Ren. The last thing she needed was to be seen as a sympathizer. A lot of people were still angry at him, and rightfully so.

"Well that might have been the last time she has to deal with him," Snap Wexley remarked, soaking up the last of the gravy on his plate with a biscuit. "We're hoping we can put him up on trial tomorrow."

 _Tomorrow?_ Rey thought without making an outward indication of being disturbed. She had no idea it could be that soon. He was in prison for months before the attack on Yavin 4.

"He's a liability, that's for sure," Jess said. "The sooner we get it dealt with, the better. We don't need something else to fear around here."

"You could be surprised," Poe said. "Maybe they'll decide to keep him around. I know what he's capable of, and if we have that kind of power on _our_ side..."

"Doesn't change the fact that he's still a criminal," Snap said with his mouth full. Poe nodded in agreement. "Although they might let him live 'cause he's General Organa's son…"

"I hope not," Jess added.

"Nah…I don't think that'll factor into it," Poe countered. He looked over at Rey, who was staring at her plate. Once Luke explained to him the nature of Maul's manipulation on the _Falcon_ , he was starting to wonder what exactly he could sense. He wasn't confident of any kind of Force power yet, and he was still extremely skeptical, but he was sure there was something that happened between Rey and Kylo Ren; he just wasn't certain of it. Even if something had, he didn't want to know.

"All I'm going to say is, it wouldn't be the first time the general's concern for her family would outweigh what's in everyone else's best interest," Snap said in response. Jess cut him off before he could say anything else.

"So what was the meeting with General Organa about, Rey?" Jess asked, trying to change the subject.

"She can't say," Finn stated. "Well I know, but she can't tell anyone else. I'm her best friend so, you know. She tells me things." A smile cracked on Rey's face.

"Really?" Snap said. "You can't tell us anything?"

"I am allowed to say that I'm leaving tomorrow," Rey said, trying to smile even though she was nervous.

"Tomorrow. Wow. Well, no use wasting time," Jess said.

"Do you know how long will you be gone?" Poe asked.

"No idea," Rey said. All she knew was that she was going to earn Maul's trust so she could potentially weaken him before the Resistance made their attack. When she was ready, she was to send a signal via a small pager. It was hardly noticeable, to be worn on her person, and only served one function. Once she activated it, it would connect to the communications console in her temporary ship and alert the Resistance.

There were a lot of details and ambiguity in her mission. If one thing went wrong, if he somehow found her pager, or sensed she was lying, it could be disastrous. The only thing she could do was to be as inconspicuous as possible and guard her feelings at all times.

 _I can do this,_ she thought. _I can do this. I can…_ but the more she said it, the more she doubted herself. She had once sounded confident but she was becoming more and more nervous by the second. Was this the right decision? Luke had told her before this that she hadn't quite finished her training. Maybe she wasn't ready.

But then she thought of her family, her mother and father being controlled, her grandfather searching for ages to find her, Unkar Plutt taking bribes from Maul, and she felt the familiar motivation from hate.

 _No. I won't let hate control me._ But she felt it welling inside her. She knew she was vulnerable. But she also knew that there wasn't any more time to waste.

 **I'm officially the** ** _worst!_** **:) Sorry it took me so long to update...again...just a lot of stuff going on that I haven't been able to write. I promise you that I won't leave this story unfinished though! Thanks if you're still reading and if you've left reviews.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Spoiler Alert: I reference a few plot elements from Claudia Gray's book** ** _Bloodline._**

* * *

"Remember, Ben. There is no emotion—"

"Only peace. I know." If Ben had received a credit every single time his uncle referenced the Jedi Code, he would have bought a ship and escaped his training a long time ago. He was thirteen; most people his age were beginning to learn a trade while _he_ was stuck with his uncle.

"You know, but you don't _feel_ ," Luke had exasperated. "I know it's difficult. I know how hard it is not to let personal feelings get in the way of the light side of the Force. Trust me. But you _must_ learn control. So try it again. And this time, clear your mind."

Ben had focused on the small stones in front of him. He had closed his eyes, had reached out to them in the Force gently. He had looked for a connection, a feeling in the Force that stood out to him. But he had sensed nothing. Still, he had persisted, trying to lift the stones on his own will, with his own strength. He had waited for the sound of the rocks tapping each other as they lifted, but he had heard nothing. Had _felt_ nothing.

Ben had opened his eyes, confirming what he had already known.

Three weeks and all they'd focused on was moving stones. Three weeks and he couldn't make a single one move. Maybe he wasn't strong in the Force. Maybe his mother was wrong; maybe he wasn't supposed to be a Jedi.

The hurt, the anger had started to become more prominent within him.

"Just try again. It takes time. Don't be—" but his uncle's attempts at reassurance had only made him more and more infuriated. Ben had known his uncle's expectations. _You'll be the one to take over for me. You'll be the one to help a new generation of Jedi long after I join the Force. You're gifted_. _The galaxy needs you._ Luke had told him over and over again what his responsibilities were. But Ben had been failing to meet them. And he wasn't even allowed to be upset. _Peace. Control. Serenity._ No. Ben had wanted _anger_. _Passion. Strength. Power._

With a scream, Ben had let the Force flow out of him. The neatly stacked rocks had moved away from him in a powerful wave, launching into the air. It had felt _right_. It had felt powerful. It had felt—

"No! No. You see _that's_ what happens when you use the dark side." Luke's voice had been firm, scolding. Ben had been in denial. Did his uncle even _see_ what he did? He should be commending him, not scolding him!

"But I moved—"

"—the wrong way, Ben. Through anger. We're going to try it again. This time, the _Jedi_ way."

It had taken Ben another week to finally move the rocks just a little bit. Luke had commended him for using the light side, but all the while, the feeling of power had lingered in his mind, had exhilarated him long after he'd mastered moving rocks and the other powers of the Force. It had called to him more and more each day. It was _begging_ to be channeled.

But the teachings of the Jedi were right, so they were the ones he chose. He had wanted to follow them diligently, and at one point he even tried to master apathy. He tried convincing himself that his parents were his parents and nothing more. He tried to ignore the pain he'd felt at their absenteeism and put the Jedi code above bitterness.

And maybe he would have succeeded, had it not been for the revelation.

It started out as whispers between students at the academy, something so insignificant he'd reasoned it'd been a harmless rumor. But in time, it had gotten worse. It was only after the people he once trusted refused to talk to him and ignored him that Luke had finally told him the reasons for the stares, the mistrust.

He was the grandson of Darth Vader, and everyone in the galaxy had known before him.

Ben had become a villain. Everyone at the academy began to turn against him and Luke. All in the name of peace, of preserving the Jedi Code.

"It wasn't my choice to keep the truth from you," Luke had told him. "Han and Leia…they thought that if you knew—"

"If I knew, _what?!_ That'd I'd be _angry?_ " Ben had bitten the inside of his cheek so hard it was bleeding.

"We didn't want it to stop you from training. You're gifted…"

"But you're afraid of me. You don't trust me." A thousand thoughts had rushed through his head that moment. He had wanted to run, far, far away from this.

"We were protecting you from shame. We were going to tell you when we were sure you were strong enough to know. We couldn't have predicted that everyone in the galaxy would find out the truth!"

"I feel more shame in knowing the people I called my family—the people who are supposed to _love_ me—lied to me about who I am."

Ben had then started to suspect that the power he longed for in the dark side was in his blood, was who he was. And then there was Snoke, Snoke revealing himself at the right time, speaking to Ben in his frustration. It had always been a voice in his head. A voice he'd always pushed away because it was the right thing to do. But now he had let it speak to him, let it instruct him, let it listen to his anger.

In his moments of weakness of shame of who he was, of trying to change and forget what he'd come from and forget the stares and judgement from the people who he once called friends, there had come a time when Ben had realized that it was easier to accept who he was than try to prove everyone wrong. While his mother scrambled to hold on to the trust the Senate once had in her, while Han ran away from the family to stop being associated with the shame, and while Luke desperately tried to restore any kind of trust his pupils had in him, Ben realized that their efforts were futile. He was a Skywalker, and Skywalkers were born from darkness.

* * *

Ren jolted from his sleep and opened his eyes. His eyes darted frantically as he tried to steady his breaths. If it hadn't been for the stars visible through the iron bars that broke the concrete above him, he would've guessed he was still in the nightmare. Sighing heavily, he wiped the perspiration off his forehead.

 _Only a nightmare._ Or rather, a string of visions from the past. This time, he'd been able to wake up before they became even more terrifying.

Ren tried shutting his eyes again, tried calming down, but his chest tightened as his breaths drew closer and closer together. It was useless to try to will his mind back into numbing, forgetful sleep because it was still there. The fear. The guilt. The regret. He wondered if this was what waited for him after death. Nothing but darkness and a replay of every past moment he wanted to desperately to go back and change.

"Ben." Leia's voice penetrated the silence. She couldn't sleep, not when she knew that tomorrow her son's fate would be decided in the morning. She'd been debating all night whether or not to visit him one last time or if she should try to stay uninvolved. Leia had reasoned that it might have made things easier for him if he was allowed to hold on to his negative feelings towards his mother. But it wasn't until she sensed his pain from his nightmares that she made up her mind to go to him. She'd held on to the guilt of never comforting him as a child and of letting him suffer through nightmares long enough. He was a man now, Leia knew, but she still thought that maybe, just maybe, she could try to make up for it now. The light flickered on, its soft glow only bright enough to just barely make out her appearance. "Ben, I never knew what you were going through. If I had I wouldn't have—" _I wouldn't have thought the suffering would only make you stronger. I would have helped you battle against the dark side._

"You couldn't have known. You can't take the blame."

"Maybe I shouldn't. But I always will," Leia replied. People could reassure her. They could tell her that it wasn't her fault, but in her heart, she would always hold on to the many ways she'd failed as a mother.

"No. It was my choice. No one else is responsible. No one forced me to do something I never wanted to do, Mother." Ben closed his eyes, counting eight seconds for each breath in, eight for each breath out. The familiar faces returned to Ren, all screaming for mercy the second before his lightsaber sunk into their flesh. _I killed them. Not Kylo Ren. Me. Ben Solo._ That was the burden he had to carry.

Meanwhile, being called _mother_ again impacted Leia in a way she hadn't felt since Han's passing. It was a title she never expected to hear again. It took everything within her to remain composed enough to continue speaking

"What you did isn't who you are now. Luke told me about what you did. For Rey, for the Resistance…" Her voice shook as she spoke. She tried thinking of herself as a general speaking to a prisoner, not as a mother scrambling to gain some kind of assurance that her son had come back to the light before she never saw him again.

"The trial's happening tomorrow, isn't?" Ren asked as if he knew her thoughts. Leia didn't reply. She couldn't say it.

Ren finally realized what this was. It was the last conversation he'd have with his mother. It was goodbye. The realization knocked the air out of him. He'd been a fool, running around the galaxy and forgetting for even a single moment what his fate really was. He'd been a fool to fall in love, and to think that maybe—just maybe—Rey meant what she said when she told him she would see him again.

"No one will blame you for who I am," Ren said.

"Ben, this isn't about who people think is guilty or whose fault it is." Leia snapped. The echo of her shout died quickly, and when she chose to speak again, her words were softer. "I know who _you_ blame. I know we failed you. Just...if you could forgive me for what I did…"

Forgiveness. It was something he hadn't considered. Over the past few months, he'd been able to take ownership for his actions, but in the past, he'd found it easier to blame Han and Leia for everything. He blamed them for making him start Jedi train. He even blamed them for facilitating his fall to the dark side.

"I love you," Leia whispered, her voice shaking, "and there hasn't been a day where I've stopped loving you and wishing that you'd come back to me."

His mother loved him. It was such a strange thing, to be loved in spite of what he did. If he wasn't assured of his mother's feelings through the Force, he would have thought she was lying.

"I forgive you," Ren said, the words difficult to say but genuine. Leia began to weep. It was something he'd never seen his mother do before, something he always thought she was too strong for. The weight of her emotion, the presence of it in the Force drew tears to Ren's eyes.

"Then promise me you've abandoned the dark side. That you've come back to the light." Leia needed it now more than ever.

How could he possibly have come back to the light? The dark, as he remembered it, had been with him from the beginning. It was a part of who he was. Even now, after everything he did for the light, Ren couldn't believe that he would ever be able to completely abandon the dark side.

Unbidden, Ren remembered what someone had told him long ago. It was when he invaded Jakku.

"The First Order rose from the dark side. You did not."

"I'll show you the dark side," Ren had said.

"You may try, but you cannot deny the truth that is your family."

"You're so right."

It was the conversation he'd had with that man he had killed on Jakku. Lor San Tekka. Rey's grandfather. His mother's friend. At the time, he'd been furious. San Tekka didn't understand him, and he didn't understand his family. Ren had believed at the time that the Skywalkers were nothing but liars, people who had pretended to be good while simultaneously hurting all the people they cared about.

Maybe Snoke had been right. Ren was from both the light and the dark. Or maybe he was neither. Either way, Ren knew he could never fit in. The light wouldn't accept him, not after what he'd done. And he certainly couldn't be dark. He was…

Nothing.

"I can't," Ren said.

"But think of all the good you've done…" Leia let her voice trail off, choosing her words carefully before starting again. "You turned on Snoke…you've helped Luke and Rey…without that, the Resistance wouldn't still be in existence. If you hadn't gone back, the First Order would have defeated us." Ren swallowed. "If there is no light left in you, Ben, how could you have done any of it?"

He couldn't have. Leia took the silence as an opportunity to speak again.

"When Luke told me that Darth Vader was our father I didn't believe it. It wounded me, just as it hurt you, I'm sure. He did terrible things to me and the people I loved. He hurt me deeper than you could even imagine. So I never believed what Luke said about Vader's final moments because I never believed anyone that had done so many terrible things could be redeemed." Leia paused momentarily. "That's why I tried to push you to be strong and independent, why I forced you to train with Luke. Why I wanted to make sure from an early age that you didn't feel strong a strong attachment to me or your father. I didn't accept who I was or what I came from until you fell. Then the story of redemption that I used to believe was impossible gave me hope that it would never be late for you to turn back and come home."

"But it's too late." Ren closed his eyes. He couldn't look at her, not when he disappointed her like this. "I deserve every punishment they'll give me tomorrow."

"This isn't about what they think you deserve. You're _my son_." Leia's voice was commanding, assured, yet wrought with an underlying hoarseness. It was enough to make Ren look up at her. "I want to save you from this."

He hadn't wanted it to come to this. Some things were easier left unsaid. But it was necessary.

"You can't save me because—because I killed him." _Father._

"Stop," Leia begged. She didn't want to hear him talk about this, not now, not when she was trying to get him back. Not when she was already afraid of what would happen to him and stressed about whether or not the Resistance could survive Maul's threat.

"No. You have to know. When I killed him…that's when the light came back to me. It was through his murder, through his sacrifice, that _this_ happened. The light only exists because of my darkness." Ren's words lingered long after they were said.

"What does this mean, then?" Leia asked.

"It means I can't belong to the light. And I can't be dark because I am both _._ " Leia nodded. She finally understood.

"That's good enough for me," Leia said as the tears continued to form in her eyes. It took everything within her not to express her joy. Something good had come from her husband's death. Maybe Ben would never belong to the light, not in the way she'd thought. But he was her son again, and the thought made her happier than she'd been in a long time. In her heart, he was redeemed.

Ren, on the other hand, was feeling for the first time complete acceptance of who he was. The thought gave him an unexpected peace where he was no longer afraid to die. In death, he wouldn't join the dark side of the Force. He would exist as he existed in his life. He would be both light and dark. He would be remembered as a child of darkness, redeemed by the light who walked the path belonging to neither Jedi or Sith.

* * *

 **Finally another chapter! :) Thanks for sticking around and reading my story, I appreciate it so much! Also, thanks for understanding that real life gets in the way a lot of my writing!**

 **This chapter was a bit difficult to write; I wanted to write a redemption scene between Leia and her son, which proved to be extremely difficult because I don't see Kylo Ren going back completely to the light side of the Force (and especially since the scene takes place apart from the main plot of my story). What did you think? I'd like to hear your thoughts!**

 **On a bit of a side note, I'd like to address some of the ship hate going on around the internet. I personally haven't received any hatred or negative messages for shipping Reylo, but I think targeting and shaming people because of something they enjoy is just unacceptable (this goes not only for Reylo, but other ships and interests as well). I don't think it is right to hurt someone because they're different from me. It's not right try to control and manipulate the actions or thoughts of others, or label people as racist or supportive of abusive relationships because of a fictional ship. It makes me sad to see Star Wars fans turn on each other like this. I believe that the only way to stop this negativity is to not return hate with hate.**

 **I want to encourage all of you to be/continue to be respectful of other fans and everyone involved in Star Wars (actors, directors, producers, members of the creative team, etc.) and remember what Star Wars is really about: acceptance. :)**


	15. Chapter 15

When she was younger, Rey dreamed of finding her family again and escape. In the solitude of her x-wing, traveling at lightspeed to a planet Rey never heard of, Rey began to wish that she could've lived forever on Jakku. She knew that it was a stupid fantasy; Plutt would've eventually starved her and she would've died alone, never knowing a life outside of the desert, but for a moment, Rey longed for the quiet and the mundane, the routine and the singular hope that one day, her family would return.

Rey wished she'd been able to realize long ago that her dreams were far from the reality she was living now.

Join Maul. Earn his trust. Alert the Resistance. Attack when he doesn't expect it. Trying to keep herself focused on the task at hand was almost impossible. Her mind kept returning to the thought that the distance between her and Kylo Ren was quickly increasing and that his trial was going to begin at any moment.

It was such a stupid thing to think about. She'd come to terms with it. It was justice. Or, was it destiny? Either way, it was fair. Her thoughts couldn't change anything and it didn't matter. Not at all.

Still, she could hardly sleep the night before. She tried to think of everything she could do to stop it. Maybe there was a way the jury would be lenient. Maybe General Organa could sway the Resistance. But no matter what Rey imagined, there was no situation to keep him from his fate. It was just a fact that she would have to learn to accept.

Lights on the x-wing's console lit up and sounded. Her destination was fast approaching. Fear knotted her chest as she took the ship out of lightspeed.

Even from above the atmosphere, she could detect the grotesque appearance of the planet in front of her. Leia hadn't been wrong about Tocloria's resources being exhausted. The planet appeared to be covered in ash and dust. Scattered throughout the surface were the factories Luke had told her about.

Maul's somewhere down there, Rey thought, chills running up and down her spine. This was the moment she'd been dreading. It was easy to say she was going to do something, but to actually do it was another factor entirely.

The request for communication occurred almost immediately.

"State your business." The voice was flat, demanding. One, Rey guessed, of a clone.

"I'm Rey. I've come to speak with Maul." She hoped the clone couldn't detect the shaking in her voice.

"Concerning…?"

"Concerning….concerning me." Rey cringed as she spoke. The last thing she needed was to be shot down before even reaching the surface. There was a brief static before the voice returned.

"You're approved for landing. Please proceed to the landing site northeast from your vantage point." The voice cut out again and the static returned. She switched off her communications console and entered the planet's atmosphere.

She flew high above until she spotted her landing site. She carefully descended, unsure if the best thing she could do to convince the Sith of her intention to be his apprentice would be to arrive confident or to act cautious. The x-wing slowly reached the ground, and with a small thud, kissed the surface. Rey took a moment to breathe before killing the engine. This was it. She was actually doing this. She touched the small paging device stuck to her hip, feeling reassured that her communications with the Resistance were not entirely gone.

Before she could talk herself out of it, Rey removed herself from the cockpit and, since there was no ladder to assist her, jumped to the surface. There was already a clone waiting for her.

"I'm told you're here to see Lord Maul," he said, coolly. The voice was the same as the man that gave her permission to land, but Rey knew he was a different clone.

"That is correct," Rey replied, making all efforts to seem outwardly confident.

"Then follow me." Without hesitation, the clone marched ahead towards a small building the size of a shed. His hand rested on his blaster, ready to fire should she make any efforts to escape. There's no going back now, Rey thought.

Rey tried to keep her eyes level, but she couldn't help but look at everything around her. The tall factories poured waste into the atmosphere at alarming rates. She knew everything they did was working towards building an army worthy of ruling the galaxy. The thought disgusted her. It took everything within her to steady her stomach.

"You'll find him inside," the clone stated, opening the door for her. Stairs leading downward were in front of her. Rey nodded and stepped inside. As soon as she was far enough in the door, it shut sharply. Rey thought she heard the sound of a lock turning.

Without looking back, she descended the stairs. With each step, her stomach twisted more and more.

She wasn't sure what she was expecting when she finally saw him again. Maybe in her imagination, he would've seen him sitting on a throne, ordering his clones to oversee his preparations to attack. She didn't expect to see him sitting on the floor in a somewhat welcoming room with book shelves and couches, his legs crossed and his face pointed upward in meditation, looking somewhat serene and calm in spite of the fact that he was part machine.

Rey didn't have to say a word. His eyes opened as soon as she stepped off the final stair.

"I see you've 'found' me," he said, not moving from his position.

"Yes. Finally," Rey said. Maul laughed and stood up before her.

"Finally. Yes, you say, finally. You play your part, Rey, and you play it well." Rey shifted uncomfortably. She was expecting Maul to be cryptic, but she was not expecting this.

"I want to join you," she said, resisting the urge to shake in fear. What happened if it didn't work? "I want to learn about the dark side." Maul stood up and started pacing, circling her like she was prey.

"Oh, yes…you want to join me. And why, Rey Kenobi, do you want to 'join' me?" He spoke as someone on the verge of laughter, like she was a joke to him.

"Because…" she was at a loss for words for a moment, and it was a moment that lasted too long.

"Because you want to gain my trust? To become my 'apprentice'? I know your plans. I know what the Resistance wants from you. And expects from you," Maul stated. Rey shook her head. "You are wearing a device on you right now, just in case you need to contact them and tell them to come rescue you immediately."

"No, you're wrong."

"So you know nothing about your plans? To cripple me so they can attack? So the apprentice can turn on the master?" Rey was silent, trying her best not to panic. How could he have known? How could he have—

"There's no need to worry. I'm not going to hurt you. None of what you've planned will come to pass," Maul said, assurance lacing his words.

"You can't win," Rey said. "They'll come eventually."

"Perhaps they will," he said, shrugging. "You've seen my factories, everything I'm capable of. I either defeat them here or I defeat them there, it doesn't make a difference. The base…Endor, is it? How ironic."

"How do you…?" Rey spoke on impulse. The façade she'd tried so desperately to have was gone. Maybe she could escape…

"I know a lot of things. Before you entered just now I was watching your 'friend' Kylo Ren be scrutinized by the members of the Resistance. Did you know his trial's just about to begin?"

Rey felt her heart break, her ability to breathe disappear momentarily. It was one thing to know a trial would occur. It was another to know it was happening now and there was nothing she could do. Even worse, she was failing. She'd left him alone for nothing. Maybe she should've let him go in her place. Maul looked at her, smirking.  
"I figured as much," he stated. "You're both young, powerful…"

"I don't know what you're trying to imply," Rey spat. "But you're wrong." It was a frightening moment, one where she had to directly confront her feelings for Ren for the first time.

"Not a single thing? Don't you feel so helpless, so far away…you should know, it's no use lying to me."

"I don't feel helpless. I don't feel anything."

"You can see him now if you'd like. All you need to do is close your eyes and concentrate." Rey hesitated for a moment. "You're so indoctrinated with Jedi teachings. Don't do this, don't do that…I say, do what you want Rey? Not what they say is right. What do you think?"

 _He doesn't deserve this. He's been redeemed. There's good in him. They're wrong about this. They're all wrong._ They were the same thoughts that were racing through her head ever since she left him.

"You have more power than you know. They want to keep it from you, Rey. But you can do what you want. You can have everything you want."

No. She couldn't do it. She wouldn't. It was wrong.

But it wouldn't hurt just to see him one last time. To know, if she could, if there was any sign of hope for him in that trial. It would be a quick glimpse. Maul wouldn't even know. In a matter of moments, curiosity consumed her and she shut her eyes. After a slight effort to concentrate, she saw everything, just as Maul said she would. It was easier to contact this side of the Force than she would have imagined it to be. And there Ren was, standing in front of the jury, the judge reading every crime he'd committed. As each sin was recited, she felt shared his reaction to it, the guilt, the pain, and the strange acceptance he had, even though he knew that this was the end. And the people glaring at him, disgusted by him. They didn't know him, not like she did.

"No!" Rey demanded, pulling away from the vision with shaking breaths. "I don't want this, I don't—"

"Do you really?" Maul probed. "Or are you just trying to ignore the power pulsing through your veins? This is only a sample of everything you can do when you accept the dark side. It's always been there. And you still see him in your mind. So far away, but you want to relieve him from his pain. To save him. But you can't save him through the light. They don't believe in redemption and forgiveness…not permanently, anyway. The preach it but they only believe in justice. Redemption only works for if it ends in death. But we…we accept everyone. Everything. Tell me, is it really fair to let him die?"

"Fair? It's what he deserves," Rey refuted, trying to make her lies sound convincing. "He's hurt so many people, killed so many—"

"But what do you think." It was a simple question, but it terrified her beyond explanation. "Rey, why don't you admit why you came here? It wasn't to save your friends from an attack on my army. It was to save a guilty man."

The statement struck her deeply.

"No, I'm here because you've ruined everything my life could have been. You've terrorized my family—" Even as Rey said the words, she knew they were insincere.

"Is that hate I sense flowing through your veins? Don't you just love the feeling of it? Your motivations for being here aren't good. I know it as much as you do. No one goes to the dark side because they initially want to, Rey. They turn because they discover it's the right thing. The only thing. We've been given a beautiful gift. And in this case, your gift allows you to decide for yourself what is right and what it wrong. Years ago, I decided to take matters into my own hands. My master mislead me, your grandfather killed my body—so I acted on my hate. I created an army able to fight the Empire. I created a life for you that you didn't want. There's no use hiding it. But I want you to be my apprentice because I want to give you everything you want. I want you to take everything you want. If that means killing me one day, so be it. I'm old already."

It made sense to her now. She could remain a Jedi and always be restricted. She would always have to believe some doctrine, some teaching. She was more powerful than Luke, but she'd always be beneath him, and even when she was beneath him, she'd always be controlled by Jedi teachings. And the Jedi teachings were skewed. How could Luke stand aside and watch his nephew be killed? After all he'd done for them. The problem wasn't with the dark side; not entirely, anyway. The problem was with the light, with the need to constantly be right, even when it wasn't right at all.

What Maul was teaching wasn't the dark side, Rey thought. This wasn't the light side, either. This was the Force, as pure as it could be. She was given this power for a reason. To use it.

Closing her eyes again, Rey saw the trial. Her heart pounded when she saw Kylo Ren. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to be a victim of the Resistance's rules. She was his only chance at being saved.

It took no effort to tap into not only the thoughts and actions of everyone there in that room. Electricity pulsed through her veins. This was power. Actual power. And how powerful she was, to not only tap into the mind of Leia, Luke, Poe—the people she knew were sensitive to the Force—but all the others as well.

When she later opened her eyes, she was unaware of how much time had passed.

"It's done," Rey said, feeling confident in her actions. The feeling of guilt she would've expected to be present surprisingly absent.

Kylo Ren would leave the trial a free man.

* * *

Thanks for reading this chapter! I certainly didn't expect for writer's block to cripple me for this long! Real life stuff has made it difficult to make time to write and be creative. Thanks again to everyone who still is sticking with this story. And also, special thanks to my sister, who's been pestering me to update for the past few months.  
I love hearing from you, so please let me know what you think


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